He hits me and says it is because he loves me
MY boyfriend and I have been together for eight months. He is 22 and I am 19. At the beginning he treated me wonderfully, but a few weeks ago we had a fight and he hit me. Since then he has hit me a number of times.
I know I am also to blame because I provoke him.
I cannot talk to him about how I feel when he hits me because I am scared he will lose his temper again. He always apologises and says it is because he loves me so much that I drive him mad.
I don’t want to lose him because I love him, but I want him to stop hitting me.
What should I do? - Scared, Gauteng
DUDU SAYS:
What you are experiencing is awful. No matter what he says, the way he is treating you is not love but abuse.
You are not to blame, no matter what you do. Most victims of domestic violence make excuses for abusers and often blame themselves. He is the one responsible for his actions.
If you stay in this relationship you will always live in fear, waiting for those few moments when he decides to treat you with some decency.
This will not stop and will only get worse unless he admits he has a problem and gets help .
Your life is in danger if you stay with him. If you are scared to leave him speak to a family member or close friend .
If he threatens you go to the police and get a restraining order. For further help, call People Opposing Women Abuse (Powa) on 011-642-4345.
ngamla
who ever u are...u are still young to stay in a abuse reletionship just dont wast our time herepack ur bags and leave the bustard......at age of 19 u should know better girl...still young to be abused
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tpaz
I suggest you provoke him at the police station....if you can't hit him back too. Give him a test of his own medicine. DON'T LEAVE HIM. HE WILL ABUSE HIS NEXT VICTIM.We need to fix such man,hire thugs to beat him up when hit hits you. Find a shoe /pot of knife.
He his violent so he only understands violence. Fight fire with fire.
When he comes late for appointment slap him in public.
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ehlongo
This is by far the craziest thing I have ever heard,Sick even.How can someone prove love by abuse.Another case of low self esteem or fear of being alone.Report Abuse
sarahmak
YOUR BOYFRIEND IS AN ABUSER AND HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU AND ONE DAY HE WILL END UP KILLING YOU. A LOVER DOES NOT ABUSE ANYONE.I HAVE BEEN IN THE VERY SAME SITUATION 3YEARS BACK, AND I DECIDED TO LEAVE MY FIANCE & MY SON'S FATHER TO START A NEW LIFE. NOW I HAVE EXPERIENCED A HAPPY LIFE WITHOUT BEING ABUSED BY SOMEONE. I EVEN GOT A NEW LOVER WHO CARES A LOT AND HE DOES NOT ABUSE ME. I THINK IF YOU LEAVE HIM, YOU WILL ALSO EXPERIENCE A HAPPY LIFE AND YOU WILL GET YOURSELF A NEW LOVING AND CARING PERSON.Report Abuse
Lillies
you must never ever blame yourself for what he is doing to you, you are still young and you deserve better that , he will always make excuses for hitting you, so get out before its too late.Report Abuse
HAPPY23
u ur to young to be stuck in that kindly of a relationship,leave him ,his not worth itReport Abuse
delicate
Babe.............Leave and never go back!...............If you feel you miss him,PRAY!Report Abuse