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How to introduce sex toys to your relationship

By SowetanLive | May 29, 2014 | COMMENTS [ 144 ]

Tired of the same sexual positions? Here are some tips on how to gently introduce some spice to your love life.

Sex toys are mainly associated with porn and or single women who seek self gratification; however the actual truth is, many people use naughty gadgets, and there are plenty of these to enhance their sexual experiences.

Sex toys can range from objects that tickle and vibrate, to various products that can be inserted.

The most important factor when introducing something new to your relationship is communication. Try not to make it sound like you are bored with the current situation as this might be seen as a personal blow to your partner (not the blow you're thinking about).

  • Explain that the toys would only be there to enhance the experience and make it more enjoyable for the two of you.
  • Suggest that you visit a sex shop together just to look around and decide if its something you both want.
  • Give your partner time to ease into the idea.
  • Start with small things like lubricants, flavoured condoms and massage oils. You can also try edible underwear and body chocolate that you can lick off each other.

Some toys you can use as an introduction to your new sexual adventures:

  • Vibrating pleasure rings

Pleasure ring.jpg

Let's start off by helping the guys out first, then move on to pleasing the women.The pleasure ring will leave you with sensations you have never felt before.

  • Clitoral vibrators

Clitoris vibrator.jpg

For the women. If you find it difficult to orgasm from penetration, clitoral vibrator will be your best friend. Have multiple orgasms with this before, during and/or after penetration.


Handcuffs / scarves / tie


Tie him up, tie her up. As long as someone is tied up, it's gonna get exciting. Handcuffs can be placed around the wrists behind you or your partner’s back while in a chair as a restraint mechanism. Be sure to agree on a code word or signal with your partner that will allow them to release the handcuffs.


Mini-massager instead of the more intimidation dildo

The head is the genius part here, and never fails with clitoral stimulation.

Vibrating bullet / egg


The Silver Bullet is a tiny, egg-shaped vibrator that is powerful and discreet. You can keep on you at all times. A great date-teaser. Push it up, give him the remote and go out on a date together.

What’s the best way to use sex toys?

No matter what sex toy you choose to use or how you choose to use it, there are a few things to keep in mind to make the experience pleasurable and help protect yourself from STIs.

Before using the toy check, for any imperfections, including rough seams, tears, or cracks.

Using lubrication is a great way to help enhance the pleasure and safety of sex toys. Ask your salesperson which lube is best for the toy or follow the instructions that come with the toy.

Brown University writes, silicone lubes break down silicone toys after a while.

  • Flavored lubes may cause yeast infections for some females because the sugar can disrupt the balance of pH in the vagina.
  • Oil-based lubes will break down latex condoms and dental dams, which will increase your risk for contracting STIs.
  • If sharing sex toys, such as dildos, butt plugs, or vibrators, use condoms and dental dams to help prevent the spread of STIs.
  • If switching the toy to another person, make sure to use a different condom or dental dam. Remember, soap alone is not effective for removing STI bacteria or viruses from the toy.
  • Don’t insert a sex toy in the mouth or vagina if it has been used in the anus without a condom or without being washed properly. This could spread bacteria and viruses and cause infections in the urinary tract (for females) or intestines.
  • If a condom was used with the sex toy, replace the condom with a new one before inserting the toy in the mouth or vagina.
  • If it hurts, stop! If you are using toys with a sexual partner, earn trust with one another. If you want to try again, relax and add extra lube if needed.

Now that you have some tips, it is up to you and your partner to decide what works for you.

COMMENTS [ 144 ]

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Sowetan some sensitive pictures please put age restriction so that perverts and underage like Mokwepa and Swordfish cannot view these pictures. Anyway These toys will work well for tha moffie called Saint_Clicks.

May 29, 2014 7:16 | 1 replies


I hope you wash and disinfect yoru hands before touching a vajayjay (from your picture, dirty is an understatement)

May 29, 2014 12:58 | 1 replies


Sorry I don't touch that thing, maybe if I decide to touch it in future I will will wear hand gloves before I touch it. It scares me, I don't know what was in God's mind when he decided to shape it like that.

May 29, 2014 1:10 | 1 replies


So you just stick in your penis without foreplay........ poor woman

May 29, 2014 2:51 | 0 replies


My python is my toy, a woman doesn't need toys with me, they always get multiple orgasms.

May 29, 2014 7:32 | 1 replies


mmmmmmm,when will i get to try your python, and you try my legs, we don't need toys

May 29, 2014 8:58 | 1 replies


You can sit on my python, while I stroke your legs slowly. Who needs toys... :)

May 29, 2014 9:14 | 1 replies


We will use our natural gifts,Whiz!!!

May 29, 2014 9:24 | 1 replies


I will make you so wet, you will think you swimming in the ocean :)

May 29, 2014 9:43 | 1 replies



May 29, 2014 10:34 | 1 replies


@Mokwepa please mind your business, Hey Whiz please don't stop

May 29, 2014 12:3 | 1 replies


Okey when you orgasm, it will feel like a earthquake happened hahaha...

May 29, 2014 12:32 | 1 replies


I already feel the fire burning

May 29, 2014 12:39 | 1 replies


just looking at your legs hmmm, you can wrap them around me anytime, I will rock you, until you scream NO MORE, I CAN'T TAKE IT ! Just don't get tired hahaha...

May 29, 2014 1:32 | 1 replies


My name is slender NEVER GET TIRED. I don't get tired

May 29, 2014 3:23 | 0 replies


SEX toys in a relationship?! That's absurd, and I personally believe that the only thing needed to spice up our sex life is to have sex in a more unpopular places like parks, freeway (in the car), friend's bathroom or with clothes on except undies of course.

May 29, 2014 7:48 | 1 replies


I just think that whatever that make you guys happy in terms of s*x do it. If it means bringing dildos into the mix, so be it.

May 29, 2014 9:18 | 0 replies


Just going to sit back and watch this space as the pervs have a field day and the bible thumpers go through various forms of cardiac arrest.

May 29, 2014 8:11 | 2 replies


So if you talk about sex, you a perv ????? It's a natural human thing to do... you really are a grumpy old man robin, feel sorry for your woman.

May 29, 2014 8:23 | 1 replies


You are welcome to, Laaitie, she seems happy enough. There is a difference between talking about sex when appropriate, and talking about virtually nothing else. Now go back to your mama.

May 29, 2014 9:16 | 1 replies


Well the article is about sex toys grumpy. What do you want to talk about, the flippen weather...

May 29, 2014 9:25 | 1 replies


See this finger?

May 29, 2014 9:45 | 1 replies


Yes, is that your sex toy hahaha...

May 29, 2014 9:53 | 1 replies


bhwahahahahahahahaaa "sex toy

May 29, 2014 10:55 | 1 replies
May 29, 2014 11:24 | 0 replies


:) Yip. Puritans vs Perverts. Going to be amusing.

May 29, 2014 8:38 | 1 replies


MC, if a man talks about sex, he is a pervert, what is a woman when she talks about sex then hmmm hahaha you oldies make me laugh...

May 29, 2014 8:51 | 1 replies


Not at all. Talking about sex is perfectly normal for anyone. In fact, we don't talk about it enough. That is probably why the children of this country are so confused. The difference between kinky and perverted is: it is kinky to use a feather but, it is perverted to use the whole damn chicken!

May 29, 2014 9:25 | 1 replies


What if the woman wants you to use a chicken, and not a feather hmmm hahaha

May 29, 2014 9:30 | 1 replies


RUN! That is one crazy assed woman!

May 29, 2014 9:35 | 0 replies


I bet 400 comments before 13h00....

May 29, 2014 8:17 | 0 replies


MophemeKoPitori..........try penetrating your women with her panty on,its leeker.

May 29, 2014 8:18 | 1 replies


LOL, have tried it as well? Nna I wear my wife's panty on the head while making love.

May 29, 2014 9:10 | 2 replies


kwakwaaaaaa ke bo hlanya straight..what turns you on by wearing ur wife's panty on the head LOL !

May 29, 2014 10:56 | 0 replies


LOL.... hehehe... why would you do that Chief.... lol.

May 29, 2014 2:18 | 1 replies


DZEL - Coz hes mad that's why hahahahaha yo he made me lol !

May 29, 2014 2:27 | 1 replies


Cabanga nje... imagine dating a guy for the first time and when you are about to go down he takes your panties, puts them on his head and starts making funny noises... ja neh...

May 29, 2014 2:56 | 0 replies


woman not women lol

May 29, 2014 8:19 | 0 replies


Hahaha, I like the one with a remote for a date-sex, I'm gonna try it.

May 29, 2014 8:20 | 0 replies


This is complete madness, musturbation in a civilised modern way.

May 29, 2014 8:31 | 0 replies


I think its worth a try specially for people who are married, being with a some person for many years can be challenging so things like this could help the years go

May 29, 2014 8:41 | 1 replies


And are your proud with your statement?

May 29, 2014 8:57 | 0 replies
May 29, 2014 8:49 | 1 replies


What are you trying to say?

May 29, 2014 9:27 | 0 replies