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Gordhan's application politically motivated

Gupta-owned Oakbay Investments has questioned the timing of Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan’s legal .

So you think you're funny

By Sowetan LIVE | 2012-11-15 07:27:45.0 | COMMENTS [ 125 ]

Have you heard a good clean joke recently? We'd like to hear what you think is funny. Share your jokes here with Mzansi.

Here's one to get you started


One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

The assistant says, ''R2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''

''What about the green one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''He costs R5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''

''What about the red one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''That one's R10,000.''

The man says, ''What does HE do?''

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''


Taken from Comedy Central

COMMENTS [ 125 ]

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Mellow takes the crown

Hers are real jokes...................lol, hahahaha!
bring'em Mellow mzaco's is enjoying here...lol

2012-11-15 12:38:05.0 | 0 replies

Dear sis Dolly
I'm a 70 year old man with 20 kids & 6 wives, recently had a child wth my frends daughter, should i marry her??? from anonymous - eNkandla
Sis Dolly replied "voetsek Zuma! i knw its you.

2012-11-15 13:01:57.0 | 0 replies

Ring Ring!!
Kamo: luv kekopa onrekele Debonairs...

Senzeni: On one condition baby.

Kamo: What now my luv?

Senzeni: Spell debonairs first!

Kamo: Aaai kea tshameka!! Tjo... reka KFC geh...

2012-11-15 13:06:58.0 | 0 replies

Orlando Pirates is as valuable as having clothes on your body.

2012-11-15 13:07:42.0 | 0 replies

A father talks to his son about his plans after high school

Dad : What do you want to do after finishing your schooling ?
Son : I want to be a Banker
(to his dad it sounded like he wants to be a BONKER)
Dad : Surprised , what the f**k did you say ?
Son : I said Banking
Dad : Breathing a sigh of relief , that's a very good choice now go tell your mom to join me in the bedroom

2012-11-15 13:08:42.0 | 0 replies

a white man burns a new nelson mandela R100 note, is he a racist or izikhothane?

2012-11-15 13:10:56.0 | 0 replies

@nzaco :)

english translation of Z ulu names.
Dumisani - rev the car
Nomthandazo - pray-non-stop
Tholakele - she-was-lost-but-now-she -is-found
Ncedisi - (PA) personal assistant
siyabonga - thank you
menzi - maker
mongezi - If u don't come
Mathanzima- heavy saliva
Madlopha-eat while u b leed
Ntombifuthi -girl-again
Fikile - arrived

2012-11-15 13:14:20.0 | 0 replies

Meraai is in court testifying that Gatiep rap.ed her.
Prosecutor: So Meraai, tell us how it happened.
Meraai: Djor honor, Gatiep broke into my house and pushed me into the bedroom.
Prosecutor: Is that where he rap.ed you.
Meraai: No djor honor. I got away and ran to the lounge.
Prosecutor: Is that where he rap.ed you?
Meraai: No djor honor, I got away and ran to the kitchen, and that is where he rap.ed me.
Prosecutor: What did he do to you?
Meraai: First he took out the kitchen knife, and put it on the table. Then he took out the bread knife and put it on the table. Then he took out the meat knife and put it on the table. Then he took out his thing and laid it on the table and then he said " Meraai, vi djou gat ek stiek...choose djor wêpon."

2012-11-15 13:31:31.0 | 0 replies

Gender of Items

What gender is it? If you're like most people, common everyday items look inert to you. But what you may not know is that many of them have a gender. For example...
1. Ziploc Bags -- Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.
2. Copier -- Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3. Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated.
4. Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it...and, of course, there's the hot air part.
5. Sponges -- Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.
6. Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7. Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
8. Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9. Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
10. Remote Control -- Female...Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider that it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying

2012-11-15 14:01:04.0 | 0 replies

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike.
He doesn't have much luck until one day,
he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it..

The bike seems even better than a new one, although
it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute
mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he
kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller,
'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain,
rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to
meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house,Sandra stops him
and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family
before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first
person who Says anything during dinner has to do the

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living
room is a Huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up
on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks,
dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one
says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage
of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws
her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of
her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is
obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back
down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom..

'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the
mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his
way with her every which way right there on the dinner

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but
still, Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it
starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline
from his pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....
'I'll do the f****** dishes!!!

2012-11-15 14:04:04.0 | 0 replies

Miscommunication between Smit (in London) and
Abdul (in Afghanistan)
(Kriii…kriii x 3)
Smit: What’s your name?
Abdul: Abdul Al-Rhazib
Smit: Se.x?
Abdul: 3 to 5 times a week.
Smit: -No, no, no…I mean male or female?
Abdul: Male, female…sometimes camel.
Smit: Hol.y cow…?
Abdul: Yes cow, sheep, animals in general…
Smit: But isn’t ho.stile…?
Abdul: Ho*s style, d*gy style any style.
Smit: Oh! My dear.
Abdul: -No, no dear run to fast…

2012-11-15 14:09:15.0 | 0 replies