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 If you pay maintenance, it might show the family that your intentions are good 

I have only seen our baby once since he was born. Her family have stopped me from seeing my girlfriend and our child.

I now have a permanent job and would like to contribute financially to maintain him.

My girlfriend will not take my calls and on the few occasions I managed to get through, she put the phone down.

I miss both of them and would like to build our future together, but I am not given the chance.

What should I do? Left out, Benoni

Dudu responds:

You must be going through a difficult time. You need to speak to your girlfriend's parents before you contact her.

Make an appointment to meet them and if need be, ask your parents to help you arrange this. When you meet, tell them the pain you are experiencing.

Apologise if you have behaved in any way that has hurt or angered them.

They might have had plans for their daughter's future and could be upset that she fell pregnant.

Explain that you would like to look after their daughter and your child financially.

Also, say that you would very much like to be a part of your son's life as his father. Perhaps you can ask your parents to accompany you.

Unfortunately, you cannot demand access to your son, but if you show the family your good intentions by paying maintenance, it might show them that your intentions are good.

Comments

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Thu Jun 20 07:12:44 SAST 2013 ::

Mar 4, 2011

tpaz

Send sms telling her to send bank account number ...these girls ba rata chelete....

Money is everything...
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Mar 4, 2011

Noms

I really feel for you, i think the parents are somehow angry at you and its good to start talking to them with your parents there and find out what is wrong. I am surprised there are still parents doing that nowadays and as for your girlfriend's reaction, its surprising. She should at least be able to tell you what is wrong unlike act so immatured.

Age 24 and 20, you are both adults, moreover you guys have a kid and your girlfriend should be honest with you.
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Mar 4, 2011

KariKari-bafanabame

broer age still on your side move on o mo tlogele o tla itshola 1day coz @ the end of the day ngwana ke wa gago
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Mar 4, 2011

Dinnymashaba

Not so many guys at your age wud be this responsible. Ever heard of the father has rights too....if all else fails, take them to court so that you have access to your child and make sure that you pay maintenance, you have rights as a dad as well!!! If her parents are angry that she fell pregnant they will get over it.
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Mar 4, 2011

PAPALETHABO

The child is not yours papa!!!!!!
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Mar 4, 2011

letsetse

You disappear for months the after that you get damuscus conversion then you expect her to receive you with open arms!!!Well you have to sweat to earn her trust again
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Mar 4, 2011

Dinnymashaba

@letsetse, where in the article does it say that he disappeared?
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Mar 4, 2011

MYMYMY

You are lying man, there is more to the story thay you are not telling us.
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Mar 4, 2011

VHOFIFI

@ Dinnymashaba, the article does say that he only saw the baby once since december. There's definitely more to the story, this reaction must have been triggered by something that he did. He wasn't there for his girlfriend when she needed him, not forgetting that the was born during the silly festive season.
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Mar 4, 2011

SAMO

The real father of the child is allowed to see his child , that's why they don't allow you to because you are not the father. Find someone who will love you and give you your own child . Save that maintanance money for the future when you have your own child and forget about this girl.
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