I am 23 years old and I'm dating a 35-year-old man. We've been dating for 10 months now and he does almost everything for me. The problem is that he is engaged to someone else and they have two kids. I don't want to lose this man. How do I deal with this situation?

MOM replies:

You are selling yourself short, dahlink. At 23 you should be travelling the world. Boys should be fighting for you. But because you think very lowly of yourself, you have become a home wrecker. This man just wants sex from you. If he wanted to be with you and only you, he would have left his fiancé by now. Wake up, smell the coffee, get your own man.

Boitumelo replies:

Are you saying you got involved with him knowing that he is engaged and he already has two children. It appears to me you knew his situation and you agreed to be part of it. You don't realise the power you have as a woman not to support behaviour of such men. Just saying no to being used can be liberating to you. Many side chicks will tell you, you will wait forever to get such a man to be your husband. Worse, if ever you get him, you worry about him doing the same thing with another woman. Phew! There is no peace in such relationships. You are young; learn from this and regain your worth. Don't allow yourself to be used like this.

Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. Email: tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com

Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. Email: mandisamahlobo@gmail.com