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The men I date bore me to tears in no time at all

By Boitumelo Tshenkeng and Mandisa O. Mahlobo | 2016-11-24 07:39:15.0 | COMMENTS [ 34 ]

I seem to have a problem with dating. I get bored and annoyed by men very quickly. It gets worse if a man doesn't communicate. I feel like he doesn't love me enough. What must I do?

MOM replies: You need to set your relationship goals very clearly. Don't just date by default. Date the kind of men you want to end up with.

Men are not very good at communicating with words, they talk action. So, it would work in your favour to listen to his actions.

The reason you get bored quickly may be because you are not dating who you really want to date.

Boitumelo replies: It sounds like you know what you want and anything that does not resemble that starts to bore or annoy you. Avoid giving every Tom, Dick and Jerry a chance of a relationship.

I often hear men say they can't read between the lines when it comes to women and relationships.

They want to hear exactly what you like or dislike from you rather than assume they know, so be clear about your expectations.

Also be secure in yourself. If your man does not respond to every WhatsApp or does not tell you his deepest desires or concerns, it does not mean he loves you less.

I broke up with my baby daddy a month ago but I can't stop thinking about him.

He has put me and my child through a lot of hardship but when I feel lonely, I miss him. I'm confused and frustrated.

MOM replies: Dahlink, start by playing sport. I find sport very therapeutic. You will let off steam.

There are people there you will socialise with. Who knows, maybe you will meet your next man there. A bonus! You will look sexy.

You are lonely because you are motionless. Get moving.

Boitumelo replies: It's normal to miss him, he was a part of your life. It doesn't mean you have to run to him when you are lonely.

It's just reality hitting you that your life has changed and you have to adjust.

Sometimes relationships end because of circumstances that make it difficult to keep it going but the love and feelings towards the partner might still be there.

This raises a lot of emotions. You can feel like you need your ex back but if you give yourself a chance to heal and adjust to this different life, you will realise you didn't actually need him back.

You have to trust yourself that in due time you will be okay.

lTshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her on tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com

lMahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com

COMMENTS [ 34 ]

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lanevus414

I seem to have a problem with dating. I get bored and annoyed by men very quickly. It gets worse if a man doesn't communicate. ======================================================================= women do not know what they want,you communicate they get bored and gooi you korobela in food,you broke they cheat on you ka a blessser,you give her super fukcc they say o ntja ya kuku,once they get used to your nkaozaaa they jump to mashanganni one,you make your own money they cheat on you ka skroplap sa di laas.

2016-11-24 10:25:46.0 | 1 replies

s.cold

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2016-11-24 11:14:15.0 | 0 replies

Bravestarr

"The men I date bore me to tears in no time at all"_____Maybe it's time you tried women.

2016-11-24 10:36:10.0 | 2 replies

lanevus414

its just a cry for bofeebe nje,she doesnt know what she wants a lo rekisa tlaama once.

2016-11-24 10:47:49.0 | 2 replies

INTERLECTA

She is on lerete tour

2016-11-24 11:03:37.0 | 0 replies

s.cold

NO NO NO MY SISTER,,I THINK YOU NORMALLY DATE @LAN3VUS414 TYPE,,,TRY ME ,,YOU WILL NEVER UVALE UMLOMO

2016-11-24 11:18:44.0 | 0 replies

letahwa

Eh bashemane, ha le mathetse mona, le di relationship expert?

2016-11-24 10:56:07.0 | 1 replies

lanevus414

kikikikikiki ntse le sokola ho kena.

2016-11-24 11:08:35.0 | 1 replies

letahwa

Ntse ke re ke nna ke fela. Ne ke nahana tokoloshe a ba reng Webster e mblokile.

2016-11-24 11:14:49.0 | 1 replies

s.cold

TOKOLOSHE KE THE GUY ABOVE YOU CALLED @LAN3VUS414 LOLO!!!

2016-11-24 11:20:32.0 | 2 replies

letahwa

Tloa mona skroplap.

2016-11-24 11:25:16.0 | 1 replies
2016-11-24 11:36:21.0 | 0 replies

lanevus414

sebononyana sa mamalome wa hao.

2016-11-24 11:27:28.0 | 0 replies

penelopeP

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2016-11-24 10:48:56.0 | 1 replies

lanevus414

dont make your struggle and unhappiness ours wena nkunkuma ndini

2016-11-24 10:55:57.0 | 0 replies

Mbalicious

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2016-11-24 10:55:55.0 | 1 replies

letahwa

Tsamaya o ilo rekisa ny0ana MHilbow kwana.

2016-11-24 11:02:54.0 | 0 replies

DeCock111

S^ck d^ck and shut the fc^k up!!

2016-11-24 11:12:58.0 | 1 replies

Brigen

lol...DC..isivala mlomo

2016-11-24 11:22:54.0 | 0 replies

INTERLECTA

Biaaaaach please

2016-11-24 11:13:38.0 | 1 replies

s.cold

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2016-11-24 11:21:45.0 | 1 replies

letahwa

Even when referring to unyoko?

2016-11-24 11:26:28.0 | 0 replies

ColoredChick

Some people have time, serious

2016-11-24 11:44:58.0 | 1 replies

lanevus414

can i dedicate mine to you??

2016-11-24 12:03:02.0 | 1 replies
2016-11-24 12:24:11.0 | 1 replies

lanevus414

by starting to talk privately

2016-11-24 12:43:43.0 | 1 replies
2016-11-24 13:04:19.0 | 1 replies

lanevus414

here brapajero@gmail.com

2016-11-24 14:23:21.0 | 0 replies

Dkok

Udakiwe lo, he thinks men are her entertainment centre, thina sifuna ididi nje,indaba youkukhuluma kuze kudabuke ulwimi, asinaso iskhathi sayo> we only talkative and charming during ukushela, once target secured, all we think about is "Dunusa"

2016-11-24 11:49:24.0 | 0 replies

Dorakie

Le wena wa bora what is it that you want vele?

2016-11-24 12:05:48.0 | 1 replies

lanevus414

you sound like a woman who knows what she wants.

2016-11-24 12:20:34.0 | 0 replies

Gazilenquza

UBUFEBEMUSTFALL

2016-11-24 12:21:53.0 | 0 replies

mynameismadubula

prostitution can help you, you get 15 types of men/day.

2016-11-24 13:23:30.0 | 0 replies
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