Twenty-eight female guards were unfairly dismissed by a security company because the client‚ Metrora.
She gets irritable and angry whenever someone talks about him. I feel very lonely. How can I deal with the situation?BOITUMELO replies:What a difficult experience to go through. She is obviously still having difficulty accepting the loss. Avoiding the matter shows that she is not coping. You might need to be more patient with her. In the meantime, suggest to her to seek professional help where she can be able to open up until she is ready to talk to you. It's going to be difficult to help her by yourself. It's also ideal for you to find a space to express your own frustrations.
MOM replies: Talking about your son triggers the pain. Stop talking about him. Find ways to distract her. She is going through the five stages of a loss, which are: shock, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. She may still be stuck on anger, which may take a bit of time to get over. Be patient with her and pay her more attention.
My husband always threatens to leave me whenever we have a fight or if I try to show him things that he does that I don't like. I end up begging him to stay and going out of my way to please him so he won't leave, but I am emotionally tired from this.
BOITUMELO replies: You are trying to maintain this relationship by yourself. His commitment to you has a lot of instability and insecurity, while your actions are just perpetuating the situation. He has become egocentric because you have given him the impression that you can't survive without him. Why is he still around anyway when he acts as if he doesn't need you? The question to you is: do you believe you can't survive without him?
MOM replies:Next time when he threatens to leave, open the door and move out of the way. He is manipulating you. He has studied you and concluded that you are scared to live without him. The only way to free yourself from this bondage is to feel the fear and stand firm still. If he wanted to leave, he would have left a long time ago.
lTshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her on firstname.lastname@example.org
lMahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author. E-mail her on mandisaomahlobo@gmail. com