×

We've got news for you.

Register on SowetanLIVE at no cost to receive newsletters, read exclusive articles & more.
Register now

CONFESSION BOX: I live in fear of my boyfriend

I have been in a relationship with a man for the past year and we have been living together for the six months. As soon as we moved in together he started being physically and emotionally abusive.

He has pinned me to a wall and I thought he would kill me. I now live in a state of fear, never knowing what sort of mood he will come home in or whether I will be alive the next day.

I used to be such an outgoing, bubbly person and now I feel like a shell of what I once was. If I look in the mirror I don't recognise myself. Of course I should leave him but I am too scared. The old me would have been able to but now I have no confidence. What should I do?

Afraid, Mthatha

I am not in a position to tell you what to do, you have to make this decision.

Unless a person has been in an abusive relationship, it is difficult for them to understand why you don't just leave. It is understandable that you have lost confidence and live in a state of fear. You might still be in love with him and he probably makes you feel responsible for the way he behaves.

However, it would be irresponsible of me not to point out that I think you should leave this man because you are living a miserable, sad life and you have lost yourself. Often the abuse leads to death or disability and you should leave before that happens. Living with him will have serious consequences emotionally, physically and mentally. Please reach out to your family and friends for support.

You should also contact Powa (People Opposing Women Abuse) on (011) 642-4345, www.powa.co.za or e-mail on Thelma@powa.co.za

Would you like to comment on this article?
Register (it's quick and free) or sign in now.

Speech Bubbles

Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.