I hope you can help me. My husband has confessed he had an affair with my brothers' wife.

Please don't tell me that he has tried to be honest with me. The reason he came clean was because someone who knows threatened him that if he didn't, then she would.

He says he loves me and that nothing like this will ever happen again. I am devastated. We have only been married a few years.

My brother is unaware of this and I don't know who else knows about the affair. My husband has said that we must move on with our lives but I can't.

I cry a lot and ask him questions but he gets irritated with me. I feel strongly that my brother should know what has happened.

I hate his wife with all my heart and I don't know how I will ever face her. How do we just pick up from here and carry on with our lives as if nothing happened?

I love my husband but I don't believe I can ever get over this. I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with a liar and a cheat. This will split up our family completely.

Devastated

I am sure you are feeling hurt, betrayed and terribly sad. Only you can make the decision whether to tell your brother or not.

If you decide to tell him, then you must understand that this will probably result in further damage to your marriage and inevitably to the whole family.

You need to tell your husband that you need time and that it is impossible for you to 'just get over this'.

The least he can give you is time and patience. When you are feeling stronger, you and your husband need to speak honestly with each other and decide how you can move forward.

If you need help with this process then consider going to the Family and Marriage Society South Africa. If the two of you love each other then fight for your marriage.

It is possible to recover from betrayal but it does take time, love and patience.