THEY say you can't choose your family, but that friends are family that you can choose.
THEY say you can't choose your family, but that friends are family that you can choose.
Friendship is one of the things we cannot live without - be it friends we party with, gossip with, cry with or confide our deepest darkest secrets to.
But, just like any other relationship, friendships have been known to be plagued by betrayal, deceit and manipulation.
In your friendships, what is it that you cannot trust your friends with? How well do you really know them?
How likely are they to stab you in the back?
Would you literally trust your friends with your life?
Wouldn't it be amazing if there was a quiz one could take to determine if the friendship they are currently in is worth keeping, or should be discarded with immediate effect?
Well, there is.
According to relationship expert Richard Makhetha, there are a series of questions you can ask yourself about your friendship - questions that if answered no to, can reveal in an instant the quality of your friendships.
"I see it all the time, people who keep up appearances.
People who, on the outside, seem to have the strongest of friendships.
"But ask them how much they trust their friend, and there will be an element of doubt," Makhetha says.
"That doubt is the ultimate determining factor for telling you if you are in a genuine friendship." Makhetha says one should think about the scenarios below to test limits in your friendships.
Friendship test 1: If your friend wins the Lotto, would they remain your friend?
Not everyone is as generous as Oprah Winfrey to her best friend Gayle King, buying her lavish cars and houses. If your friend came into fame and fortune, would they keep you around?
Makhetha says this is one of the things you should ponder.
"It's not even a matter of them sharing their riches with you. But some friendships only survive because the two parties are on an equal or similar financial standing.
But, should one of them hit the jackpot overnight, would the friendship still exist?
"Would they change their attitude towards you? Would they be snooty and suddenly feel the need for an upgrade, and begin hanging around with people on their level?
"If you suspect your friend is the type who would, it was never a genuine friendship, but smokes and mirrors," he says.
Friendship test 2: Would your friend drop everything for you in a crisis?
Your house just got burgled. You just got arrested. Your car just got stolen. Would your friend run to your aid immediately?
"This is not to say that you should call off a friendship if a friend missed an opportunity to help you out of a sticky situation. Yes, sometimes people are genuinely tied up and can't drop everything and come running.
"But if you notice a pattern of this within your friendship, you have a problem. Any friend who cannot do this is a bystander to your misfortunes, not a true friend," Makhetha says.
Friendship test 3: Would you trust your friend with your partner?
You get a call from your partner that your friend is at your place for a surprise visit. You are unfortunately out of town. Would you allow your friend to spend the night?
"This is the ultimate test of friendship.
Most people tend to ask me who the wrong party is if your partner ends up in bed with your friend. Ultimately, it's both of them.
"But the one who bears much more responsibility is your friend. Although partners come and go, your friend owes you a little bit more loyalty than that."
Friendship test 4: Would you go under the knife and give your friend a kidney?
"Or even ask yourself if they would give you a kidney.
"This is obviously an extreme scenario, but if they were genuinely ill and needed a kidney transplant, would you willingly volunteer?
"This will reveal a great deal [about] how you genuinely feel about the friendship.
"Your willingness to undergo a painful surgical procedure for that particular friend is very telling of just how important and valuable this friend is to you.
"Unfortunately, the opposite also rings true."
Is your friendship genuine? Will your crony stick with you through thick and thin?
THEY say you can't choose your family, but that friends are family that you can choose.
THEY say you can't choose your family, but that friends are family that you can choose.
Friendship is one of the things we cannot live without - be it friends we party with, gossip with, cry with or confide our deepest darkest secrets to.
But, just like any other relationship, friendships have been known to be plagued by betrayal, deceit and manipulation.
In your friendships, what is it that you cannot trust your friends with? How well do you really know them?
How likely are they to stab you in the back?
Would you literally trust your friends with your life?
Wouldn't it be amazing if there was a quiz one could take to determine if the friendship they are currently in is worth keeping, or should be discarded with immediate effect?
Well, there is.
According to relationship expert Richard Makhetha, there are a series of questions you can ask yourself about your friendship - questions that if answered no to, can reveal in an instant the quality of your friendships.
"I see it all the time, people who keep up appearances.
People who, on the outside, seem to have the strongest of friendships.
"But ask them how much they trust their friend, and there will be an element of doubt," Makhetha says.
"That doubt is the ultimate determining factor for telling you if you are in a genuine friendship." Makhetha says one should think about the scenarios below to test limits in your friendships.
Friendship test 1: If your friend wins the Lotto, would they remain your friend?
Not everyone is as generous as Oprah Winfrey to her best friend Gayle King, buying her lavish cars and houses. If your friend came into fame and fortune, would they keep you around?
Makhetha says this is one of the things you should ponder.
"It's not even a matter of them sharing their riches with you. But some friendships only survive because the two parties are on an equal or similar financial standing.
But, should one of them hit the jackpot overnight, would the friendship still exist?
"Would they change their attitude towards you? Would they be snooty and suddenly feel the need for an upgrade, and begin hanging around with people on their level?
"If you suspect your friend is the type who would, it was never a genuine friendship, but smokes and mirrors," he says.
Friendship test 2: Would your friend drop everything for you in a crisis?
Your house just got burgled. You just got arrested. Your car just got stolen. Would your friend run to your aid immediately?
"This is not to say that you should call off a friendship if a friend missed an opportunity to help you out of a sticky situation. Yes, sometimes people are genuinely tied up and can't drop everything and come running.
"But if you notice a pattern of this within your friendship, you have a problem. Any friend who cannot do this is a bystander to your misfortunes, not a true friend," Makhetha says.
Friendship test 3: Would you trust your friend with your partner?
You get a call from your partner that your friend is at your place for a surprise visit. You are unfortunately out of town. Would you allow your friend to spend the night?
"This is the ultimate test of friendship.
Most people tend to ask me who the wrong party is if your partner ends up in bed with your friend. Ultimately, it's both of them.
"But the one who bears much more responsibility is your friend. Although partners come and go, your friend owes you a little bit more loyalty than that."
Friendship test 4: Would you go under the knife and give your friend a kidney?
"Or even ask yourself if they would give you a kidney.
"This is obviously an extreme scenario, but if they were genuinely ill and needed a kidney transplant, would you willingly volunteer?
"This will reveal a great deal [about] how you genuinely feel about the friendship.
"Your willingness to undergo a painful surgical procedure for that particular friend is very telling of just how important and valuable this friend is to you.
"Unfortunately, the opposite also rings true."
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