My boyfriend and I met after we both left school. We have been together now for six years. I love him with all my heart and soul. I have done everything I possibly can for him.

When he has found fault in me I have done my best to make sure that I am the person he wants me to be.

Unfortunately, my family and friends believe that he is not the right person for me. They say that he is too controlling and that I have changed. Of course, I have changed - I am growing up. If they don't like the person that I am, then they have a choice to either accept me the way I am or stay out of my life. My boyfriend and I have had our problems. He has cheated on me a few times but I have always forgiven him because he has been so sorry. We are both trying hard to make our relationship work and get married.

Everyone goes through hard times, but what is important is that they can forgive and move on.

Although I strongly feel that our relationship is no one's business, I miss my family and friends but I cannot let them dictate how I should lead my life. Am I wrong?

Torn apart, Kagiso

It sounds to me as if you are the only one putting all the effort into your relationship. He doesn't seem to be trying to make your relationship work at all. He will continue to cheat on you because you always forgive him. There are no consequences because you accept his behaviour. Your family and friends can see him for exactly what he is, and all they want is the best for you. He is controlling and to be honest, it sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. Of course, people change as they get older but they don't change the essence of who they are.

You need to take stock of your life. Speak to your family and friends and listen to what they have to stay. Then be honest with yourself and make a decision that you feel is right for you.