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Guys, make sure you plan for special occasions

Picture Credit: madamenoire.com
Picture Credit: madamenoire.com

One of the most irritating things that can ever happen to any woman in a relationship is dating a man without a plan.

Granted, sometimes when you date below your station as my high-maintenance friend would say, you have to educate a man about the difference between sushi and oysters.

But some black men out there are highly complacent when it comes to being creative and keeping the romance alive in their relationships.

This becomes more apparent on significant days like birthdays and anniversaries when they do not put any effort into pampering their partners.

One of my cousins was fuming recently because after going all out for her boyfriend's 25th birthday in September last year, he had no plans for her birthday in January.

She had booked a romantic weekend away to Cape Town as far back as April last year to enable her to afford the great spectacle that she wanted to pull off to impress him.

On arrival at their hotel in Cape Town they were met at the reception by one of the managers holding a welcome board with her boyfriend's name on it, announcing his special stay in honour of his birthday.

Inside the hotel room, a shirt from his favourite store awaited him in a beautifully wrapped package with a big bow so that he could look handsome for their special dinner date that evening.

My cousin placed little reminders everywhere they went throughout their weekend and she even joked that she could tell he was beginning to get nervous, thinking that the weekend would culminate in a marriage proposal.

She made his birthday one of the most unforgettable he'll ever have.

When his turn to impress came around in January he failed dismally. He was supposed to take her out for a special dinner.

On the day, he was late because his demanding boss detained him at work as my cousin waited for him at the mall. (Note that she had taken a day off on the Friday of his birthday weekend getaway, to execute her plans without any snags.)

She exercised patience, expecting to be taken for an intimate dinner at a good restaurant.

When the man finally pitched 30 minutes later she could tell he had not even bothered to make a booking as they walked around aimlessly for 10 minutes because most restaurants were full.

By default they ended up spending her birthday at a popular noisy pub where he thought they could get a drink while he sorted out his no-plan mess. But my cousin was so hungry that she ordered the first item she saw on the menu: wings and chips.

The man had no flowers, no lingerie voucher, no perfume and totally no plans on her special day.

Unfortunately this scenario is not unique to my cousin. I have a lot of girlfriends who complain about the burden of a man without a plan when it comes to romance.

Birthdays come around every year. This means one has a whole year to Google creative ideas for that special occasion to show their partner some appreciation.

It is so bad that someone could make big bucks starting a school of common sense to teach these men to come up with ideas to make their partners happy.

Some men without plans resort to death-by-vouchers, where year in and year out they will give you voucher after voucher.

Vouchers allow someone to decide for themselves what they want. But buying a gift demonstrates that you took the time to think about how best to express how much you care.

Some men are just plain lazy. All they know is how to throw money around. In the romance stakes this is such a slap in the face because it shows they did not even bother to think.

lFollow me on Twitter @Mapula Nkosi