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CONFESSION BOX: Bonding with abusive mom

MY MOTHER and I have a difficult relationship and I don't know if it will ever change.

She is a single parent and has always made sure that I have everything that I need. I also know that life has not been easy for her.

I am 23 years old and at university. I managed to get a bursary.

The problem I have is that my mother is verbally abusive to me.

She was never that warm towards me as a small child and between the ages of about 12 and 16 I was very rebellious.

I would scream and swear at her. She used to hit me across my face until I stopped her one day and threatened that if she hit me again I would hit her back.

I admit that I was very difficult but I think most teenagers go through these stages.

I look at some of my friends and feel so jealous of the relationships they have with their mothers.

We have both settled down a bit but she will still often make very hurtful remarks to me, which I just ignore.

She has never said she is proud of what I have achieved in my life and I wish she would because I have worked hard to do well at school and university. I have calmed down since those teenage days.

Do you think it is too late for us to have a decent relationship?

Do you think it could ever change?

Hopeful, Mamelodi

It's never too late to try and mend a broken relationship.

It's not easy being a single parent and I am sure your mother has had a tough life. Sometimes we take out our frustrations and hurt on the very people we love the most.

Often it goes too far and we have difficulty getting back to the normal relationship we once experienced.

Ask a relative to intervene and bring the two of you closer. If not, then try to start the healing process by telling her how much you appreciate her and that you want to improve things between you two .

Say that you love her but be prepared that she might not return the feeling.

If this doesn't improve your relationship then at least you know you tried.

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