I AM 25 years old and my boyfriend is 32. We have been together for over a year. He is employed and next year is my last year at university. He is a difficult person, ultra-sensitive, moody and has occasionally lost his temper in front of me. In spite of this I love him dearly and he makes me feel very special.
He rarely discusses his background or home life. When we spend time together, it is always at my place and occasionally we go to a restaurant.
Recently my best friend was asking me about him. It struck me that I know very little about him. I told her where he lived but said I had never been to his home. She made me realise how strange this is and we decided to go and look at the place where he stays. We took her car so that, if he was around, he would not see us.
We went past a few times and during that time we saw him with two small children and a woman getting into his car.
It looked like they were all very happy. In fact it looked like they are a family. I was shocked and then I became angry. I wanted to confront him right there but my friend drove off. Well it seems that he saw me from his house. He phoned me and was so angry I could hardly understand what he was saying. I am sure that if I was in front of him he would have beaten me. I was terrified.
A few days later he phoned and said he had been trying to leave his wife for a long time but it was difficult because of the children. I don't know what to think honestly. Even though I love him I don't want to be the reason he leaves his wife and children. What should I do? - Shocked
ONLY you can make this decision but I really don't think you should wait for him. He is a liar and a cheat and I doubt you will ever be able to trust him again. He has treated you in the most appalling manner and, frankly, a man with a temper is dangerous. He is married with children and you don't want to be the cause of a divorce. I don't think he has any intention of leaving his wife anyway.
Relationships are difficult even without the complication of an ex-wife, children and maintenance.
The choices you make at this time will impact on the rest of your life so concentrate on what is best for you. In time you will get over him and realise there are far better men who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays
My boyfriend is married
I AM 25 years old and my boyfriend is 32. We have been together for over a year. He is employed and next year is my last year at university. He is a difficult person, ultra-sensitive, moody and has occasionally lost his temper in front of me. In spite of this I love him dearly and he makes me feel very special.
He rarely discusses his background or home life. When we spend time together, it is always at my place and occasionally we go to a restaurant.
Recently my best friend was asking me about him. It struck me that I know very little about him. I told her where he lived but said I had never been to his home. She made me realise how strange this is and we decided to go and look at the place where he stays. We took her car so that, if he was around, he would not see us.
We went past a few times and during that time we saw him with two small children and a woman getting into his car.
It looked like they were all very happy. In fact it looked like they are a family. I was shocked and then I became angry. I wanted to confront him right there but my friend drove off. Well it seems that he saw me from his house. He phoned me and was so angry I could hardly understand what he was saying. I am sure that if I was in front of him he would have beaten me. I was terrified.
A few days later he phoned and said he had been trying to leave his wife for a long time but it was difficult because of the children. I don't know what to think honestly. Even though I love him I don't want to be the reason he leaves his wife and children. What should I do? - Shocked
ONLY you can make this decision but I really don't think you should wait for him. He is a liar and a cheat and I doubt you will ever be able to trust him again. He has treated you in the most appalling manner and, frankly, a man with a temper is dangerous. He is married with children and you don't want to be the cause of a divorce. I don't think he has any intention of leaving his wife anyway.
Relationships are difficult even without the complication of an ex-wife, children and maintenance.
The choices you make at this time will impact on the rest of your life so concentrate on what is best for you. In time you will get over him and realise there are far better men who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays
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