Sun Sep 24 03:27:43 SAST 2017

Lessons from celebrity love stories (PHOTOS)

By Bongiwe Sithole | 2014-10-15 07:55:02.0

Source: Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose

Relationships in celebville can be more complicated than the girl next-door kind of dating which leads some of us losing faith in marriage, soul mates, and everlasting love - but relationship expert Savannah Steinberg says that instead of being deterred by these cases, we can make the best of our hook-ups by learning a lot from the love stories in the limelight.

Source: Shona and Connie Ferguson. Picture credit: Bafana Mahlangu

1) Find your flow - together

Power couple Connie and Shona Ferguson married each other after dating for only six months. Not only are they happily married with kids, but they are also business partners too.

Steinberg says; for a successful union, two people must have the same vision.

“To make a relationship successful, you must stay present and in the moment. Ask yourself: is this working? Do we need to adjust; do we know where we want to be going?”

Lesson learnt: "Visualize as a couple. Communicate the vision of your future with each other. Find your flow and move together,” says Steinberg.

Source: Musician Tebogo Lerole and actress/singer Khanyi Mbau. Picture credit: Tsheko Kabasia

2) Communicate, communicate, and communicate

Khanyi Mbau and Kwela Tebza’s Tebogo Lerole had communication fallout. Tittle-tattles about the couple breaking up had spread far and wide, but the pair had no answers to the rumours because they were uncertain about where they stood with each other.

Communication according to Steinberg can guide a relationship and help avoid a sense of feeling lost or confused. "The trouble is when we don’t communicate issues; everything and anything can be addressed by powerful communication.”

Lesson learnt: Always communicate with your partner about how you feel about him/her. This way, you will always know where you stand in your relationship.

Source: Minnie Dlamini and Itumeleng Khune. Picture credit: Mabuti Kali

3) You don't have to flaunt it to validate your happiness

Itumeleng Khune and Minnie Dlamini, the darlings of celebville flaunted every part of their relationship on social media to show off their 'happiness'. But without the instagram pictures, we would have still been convinced that they were indeed a happy, loving couple.

Once you start flaunting your over- excessive ways of showing your love, you suddenly have people looking at your business like a clan of meerkats. Then you will consistently have to set the bar higher in all your selfies and social media evidence that all is well in love-land.

Lesson learnt: To keep your relationship at your pace, try to keep it out of social media. What happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas. This will help you have a relationship that is true to you, not true to the world.

FILE PICTURE: BlackBerry Bold 9900 Launch-Dj  Euphonik  and  Bonang  Matheba. Pic:Simon Mathebula.16/09/2011. © Sunday Times
Source: Dj Euphonik and Bonang Matheba. Picture credit: Simon Mathebula
FILE PICTURE: BlackBerry Bold 9900 Launch-Dj Euphonik and Bonang Matheba. Pic:Simon Mathebula.16/09/2011. © Sunday Times

4) Then again, if you want to be popular and the centre of attention, you have to make way for ogling eyes

“By the nature of being a celebrity your life is not yours, is it open for judgement. The higher your celebrity status, the more you will be hounded and harassed for every little tiny detail of your life.”

 Celebrities like to get into relationships and keep them private because they don’t want people poking their noses in their business, however Steinberg says celebs must deal with the reality that there is no privacy for them.

“This comes with the territory, its part of the deal. So as much as it must be an incredible experience to be a celebrity, it comes with a cost – and this is your privacy.”

In the highly publicised relationship of TV personality Bonang Matheba and DJ Euphonik, the pair has been together on and off for four years but had never kept their love life to themselves. Rumours of her man cheating with dancer Chomee made circulations on several occasions.

Lesson learnt: There is no privacy when you are a celebrity and you want to be the centre of attention. It comes with the territory.

Source: Black Coffee and Mbali Mlotshwa. Picture credit: Mohau Mofokeng

5) A polyamorous relationship doesn't mean there are problems and a monogamous one doesn't mean bliss.

Many people believe that being in polyamorous is all about having a lot of sex. (Maybe it is)  But that's not the core of it. Being polyamorous means that you have more than hook-ups, you have meaningful relationships with more than one person.

After hearing of Black Coffee’s antics with other women – the public believed his wife, Mbali Mlotswha, might leave him. We can’t say for sure that the two are in a polyamorous relationship however despite the reports of more than one woman frolicking with the DJ, Mbali has remained strong by her man side.

The couple are reported to be going for marriage counselling.

On the other hand Sonia and Leslie Sedibe were loyal to each other, but meanwhile back at the ranch, Mr Sedibe wanted the Mrs out of the house. Sonia was quoted saying that he was a control freak and suffered from an insecurity complex. She still lives with him despite all the drama.

Lesson Learnt: Discover the value and warmth of your relationship and what is home. Determine what works for you as a couple. That way you can remain stronger together even with others in the picture.

6) Don't expect anything and you won't be left disappointed

When DJ Zinhle started dating rapper AKA, she had expectations of keeping their involvement a secret.

She said: "It was something that we spoke about, I said, listen, I don’t want you out there as my boyfriend I am not going to put you out there as the guy I am dating.”

“You need to do what you do and I need to get out there for me. I am not trying to be the girl that is dating ‘whoever’.

But after setting borders she realised that she no longer wants to be a secret and would like to be cuddled in public.

“The thing is, you are a girl you are in love and you want to show off – but, you now you can’t,” she said.

Lesson learnt: Don't start your relationship by expecting too much. When setting up rules of engagement, be aware that things may not go as planned.