MADI this week jetted off to Cape Town for an evening of flair, fashion and all things beautiful.

The online store Spree has got together with industry giants such as Marianne Fassler and Gert-Johan Coetzee and is offering shoppers access to their designs online. Hmm, interesting concept.

The only thing that raised Madi's eyebrow was when they said the garments come in model sizes. Eish, that means that unfortunately the Anele Mdodas of this world better stay away from that keyboard. How unfair! Anyway, Madi had a blast mingling with the snooty fashionistas at the party. Madi was so happy to see Dion Chang, who she hasn't seen in a while. He hasn't aged a bit - well, except for the receding hairline.

Madi also bumped into Real Goboza's Sinazo Yolwa, yes, you guessed it - wearing heavy make-up as usual. This girl will be banging down plastic surgeons' doors begging for botox in a year or so, I foresee. Skin needs to breathe once in a while, girl.

Stylist Jerri Mokgofe was also there, and Madi found it hilarious how during a press conference, he called out Thula Sindi, asking when Sindi plans to open a "real store" after so many years.

He also asked Gert-Johan why he was showing the same newspaper dress that is available at Edgars. Madi almost choked on her champagne at the hilarious, panic-stricken, rat drowning-in-a-bucket-of-wee faces these two had trying to figure out an answer.

Madi also bumped into model Dave Kabamba. Still his roving-eye self, I noticed. I guess being a struggling model one has to find other means to put Albany bread on the table. Try Edith Venter love.

Remember the drab Africa's Next Top Model? Madi bumped into the runner-up, Opeyemi Awoyemi, who looked so bitter when Madi asked her where the winner, Amito, was. Girl, you didn't win. Get over it.

Overall, Madi had a great time in Cape Town, but she jetted back pronto because she also had to attend Linda Moeketsi's birthday bash at The Sands in Sandton.

To say Linda looked great would be a tragic understatement. Anyway, everyone seemed to have drowned in a well of Moët by the time Madi arrived. Bumped into Criselda Kananda, who looked like she was off to a Sunday church service at Rhema. Girl, it was a birthday party, not the baptism of your godchild! Madi also saw singer Moneoa, who looked like she had quickly grabbed a rag to wear to run to a spaza shop to buy snuff.

Pearl Thusi was also there. Madi loves seeing her without make-up on. She's one of the few people who can pull it off - unlike the likes of Bonnie Henna, who, without make-up, looks like she's been crying all night long after her shack burnt down.

Generations actress Nambitha Mpumlwana was also there and, if what Madi saw was anything to go by, looked like she loved her champagne. Nambitha kept "dangalazing" - sitting with her legs open - and Madi wished she could get her aunty from rural Rustenburg to come and give Nambitha a slap and lecture on how she should sit.

The party was an absolute success, but Madi was just irritated by how many nobodies were there after paying an entrance fee. Linda, Madi hates mingling with commoners. Make it more exclusive next time.

OH HELL NO!

HAS anyone else noticed how female traffic officers are more lenient on men but completely throw the book at female drivers?

Most men usually get away with "cooldrink" offers, whereas if a woman officer stopped you, she'd slap you with a fine for wearing your Jimmy Choo's - only because she couldn't walk in them.

Madi thinks this is so unfair. I have a couple of girlfriends who can all attest to this.

I don't know if it's the bitterness of wearing those unflattering pants with a heavily buckled belt and hideous boots - that when you show up looking all fabulous like Madi always does - they become disgruntled.

No, this is so wrong. Can we treat everyone equally on the road, please!