×

We've got news for you.

Register on SowetanLIVE at no cost to receive newsletters, read exclusive articles & more.
Register now

Tips for a healthy marriage

Marriage isn’t like a relationship between girlfriend and boyfriend, it can’t be easily dumped when troubles come to wreck your loving home.

It is a commitment between people to love one another and overcome the good and the bad that comes with it.

Welcoming first week of September month was National Marriage week, celebrating couples who stick with one another to make their relationship work as well as to encourage staying in love than opting for divorce.

Liesel Van de Merwe managing editor of Intimacy4Us and creator of annual Marriage Week says every married couple can stay together forever if only they could find a solution to every issue.

“All marriages can survive all odds if only spouses could learn to stop fighting each other and tackle the problem.

Wedding events coordinator, Cynthia Buthelezi says marriage fails when no interest is show in it.

“A lot of marriages die because they are not celebrated, people need to remind each other constantly of how they fell in love and why they are now husband and wife.”

10 basic tips for a healthy marriage

1. There is no such a thing as perfect marriage

If you ever want to be in a marriage that won't fail, that will guarantee to stay by your side for life and be filled with unlimited love or give you so much pleasure that you will be in Heaven. Simply get married to a dream.

2. Surround your marriage with people who help build and not break it

Avoid people who will weaken your resolve to be a good spouse. Instead, associate with folks who will encourage you.

3. A soft and tender attitude builds a marriage

Words cut like a sharp sword, what you say and how you say it is important. Spouses speaking rudely towards one another is a lose- lose proposition. A gentle response helps better a conversation, shouting stirs up anger.

4. Forgive and move forward

Forgiveness in a marriage is much needed because there is no perfect, things will go wrong and one needs to try and move on from situations than creating space for hatred.

5. Be practical, don’t think with emotions

How you feel and what you want are two different things. Emotions kill marriage, take a step back, fight the situation not your spouse. Always make a plan.

6. Remember Love

Go back to the basics, to why you are together, what made you fall in love, love can better a marriage.

7. Celebrate your union

Big or small celebrate your union, whether it’s by going on vacation, spending quality time over dinner or having a party with family and friends. Special days and milestone in your marriage need to be highlighted.

8. Remove ‘I’ from a marriage replace it with ‘we’

When you said I do to your spouse, you entered into new rules, its about ‘we’ now. Don’t enter with individual baggage into a new marriage.

9. Communication

The key to a happy and healthy marriage is communication, Talk about issues, talk about anything and everything, text one another in the day when missing your spouse.

10. Work at your marriage never underestimate intimacy

Now that you married do not enter comfort zone, it takes you no where. Don’t stop making each other smile or impressing your spouse. Let the intimacy increase not decrease.

Van de Merwe says sometimes reasons citied by divorced couples are things that could be solved.

“An interesting factor in South Africa is that most divorces happen within the first 10 years of marriage.

“I have heard reasons such as financial pressure, cheating, we fell out of love  and boredom for a marriage failing to work. These issues could have been resolved.

“When we leave emotions behind and tackle the issues that makes us feel less loved or in love.”

Would you like to comment on this article?
Register (it's quick and free) or sign in now.

Speech Bubbles

Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.