DUNCAN D' Ewes's ex-girlfriend's stalking got so out of hand that it cost him his job, The Star newspaper reported in Johannesburg.
D'Ewes was one of the first people to open a case against his ex-lover with the police, using the new Protection from Harassment law that came into effect on April 27 2013.
D'Ewes alleged that his ex would hack into his Facebook account and chat to his friends and family and even send him e-mails and SMSes.
Relationship expert Fikile Msimanga examines two scenarios involving Garankuwa armed response services officer Tokollo Mahlasela and Dobsonville call centre agent Thoko Mathebula.
Msimanga dissects the subtle red flags that could show your ex is obsessed and if not stopped, matters could get out of hand.
He says an ex-lover becomes a problem because one party might still be holding on while it's the end of the road for the other.
Msimanga offers the following advice to ensure that an ex-lover gets the message that the proverbial silver cup is broken:
- You should clearly state that the relationship is over. "The reason most people still have hope of getting an ex back is because of the grey area," Msimanga points out.
- If you are the one doing the break-up, don't mince words. "It is over" may not be as clear as you think. State exactly what is over. Say: "Our relationship has ended. I do not want to be involved with you anymore."
- Set boundaries. A break-up does not have to mean gaining an enemy, but set clear boundaries about what will not be tolerated from your ex, including phone calls, SMSes, e-mails, hanging out, going to family gatherings, and so on. Define what it is that is unacceptable.
- Seek help. With the new Protection from Harassment Act, you do not have to tolerate harassment. If you feel that an ex-lover's behaviour is getting out of line, speak to someone, or contact someone in authority.
According to the department of Justice, the Protection from Harassment Act gives the victims of harassment an effective remedy.
- For more information on the Protection from Harassment Act contact your nearest police station or visit www.justice.gov.za
For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays
Say no to harassment
DUNCAN D' Ewes's ex-girlfriend's stalking got so out of hand that it cost him his job, The Star newspaper reported in Johannesburg.
D'Ewes was one of the first people to open a case against his ex-lover with the police, using the new Protection from Harassment law that came into effect on April 27 2013.
D'Ewes alleged that his ex would hack into his Facebook account and chat to his friends and family and even send him e-mails and SMSes.
Relationship expert Fikile Msimanga examines two scenarios involving Garankuwa armed response services officer Tokollo Mahlasela and Dobsonville call centre agent Thoko Mathebula.
Msimanga dissects the subtle red flags that could show your ex is obsessed and if not stopped, matters could get out of hand.
He says an ex-lover becomes a problem because one party might still be holding on while it's the end of the road for the other.
Msimanga offers the following advice to ensure that an ex-lover gets the message that the proverbial silver cup is broken:
According to the department of Justice, the Protection from Harassment Act gives the victims of harassment an effective remedy.
For more stories like this one, be sure to buy the Sowetan newspaper from Mondays to Fridays
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