With single-parent households becoming the norm, the chances of finding a single man without a child are getting slimmer and slimmer and for women looking for love.

Now not all ‘baby mamas’ come with drama. There are women out there who have accepted that their former love has moved on and decided to put their children’s happiness first.

Then you get the bitter ex who is determined to ruin the baby daddy’s life.

So what do you do when your partner’s ex refuses to let go of the past and becomes a pain in the ‘you know where’?

1. Understand where she’s coming from

You have to remember that she shares a great bond with your man and she’s probably still heartbroken over their break-up. Who knows? Maybe she thought the two of them were going to get married so that means she harbours a lot of hurt and resentment. So try not to take what she does personally, give her some time to get over it.

2. Accept that she will be part of his life forever

Trying to drive a wedge between him and the baby mama is a futile exercise. They have a child together and that means that two of them will have to keep in contact and share responsibilities till the child becomes an adult. In this case the ex is not some nightmare you can wish away, she is here to stay and you have to find a way to make your relationship with her work.

3. Try talk to her woman to woman

In her mind, ‘you took her man and now you want to take her child as well so you need to sit her down and explain that although you will be playing a big role in her child’s life, you are not there to replace her as the mother. You also need to set some boundaries and make her understand that although you are prepared to give her and ‘your man’ some space when it comes to the child she must not use this as a way to worm herself into his life.

4. Let your man BE a man

You shouldn’t have to deal with this drama alone; your man needs to take charge if and when the baby mama oversteps her mark. Make him aware of how you feel and let him handle it.

5. Assert how you feel

Sometimes the baby mama will create situations where your man has to keep running to save her or the children or will conspire with your ‘in-laws’ to get you out of the picture. Don’t take this lying down, talk to them and let you feelings be known without being disrespectful.

6. Make sure your man performs his fatherly duties

Encourage your partner to make his child support payments on time every month and that he plays an active role in his child's upbringing. This will ensure that the baby mama has nothing to complain about.

Blending families don’t have to be a pain but in order for it to work all parties involved need to learn to communicate and respect one another.

Remember at the end of the day, it’s not just about you there are vulnerable kids involved.

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