×

We've got news for you.

Register on SowetanLIVE at no cost to receive newsletters, read exclusive articles & more.
Register now

A symbol of love and devotion

I WAS recently taken aback when my wedding ring didn't stop a man from flirting with me.

It made no difference when I told him I was married and simultaneously flashed my wedding band at him.

"That means nothing to me. So you're taken, but I still love you. I am not the first nor will I be the last to approach you," he smiles.

Wondering why my wedding ring did not scare him off, I asked a group of men and women for their views on the symbol of union.

The player

  • Mangaliso Ndlovu, 26, of Orlando, Soweto, has a three-year-old son and is single.

"I won't settle down. There are too many pretty girls in the world," Ndlovu says.

And the wedding ring: "I'll wear it just to attract women.

"They are more interested in married guys".

  • Thembi Cawe*, 31, of Centurion, Pretoria, is dating two men in different cities.

She has been with one man for three years and the other is just an occasional "breath of fresh air".

She says: "I grew up in a family of single woman who are very fulfilled. I don't think I will get married either."

To her a wedding ring is "being tied to one person for life".

The traditional folk

  • Tshepo Dlamlenze, 29, of Orlando, Soweto, says he grew up believing the wedding ring is a symbol of love.

"It shows that you are devoted to someone," he says.

As for people wearing rings to scare off admirers, a practice also known as "stop-nonsense", Dlamlenze says he would never do it.

"People who wear wedding rings have their reasons, but the bad thing about this is that the right person might just pass you by because of the ring," he says.

  • Pearl Gayiya, 24, of Mapetla, Soweto, is a single parent with a four-year-old son.

She broke up with the boy's father six months after they got engaged.

She never wore an engagement ring due to her culture, she says .

"In Xhosa culture a woman should not wear a ring until the ilobola process is complete.

Personally, I don't like an engagement ring and would rather wait for the wedding ring," she says.

Gayiya says the wedding ring is sacred and symbolises, "the reason you got married and the vows you took before God".

The settled

  • Thomas Mabaso*, 45, of Pretoria, has been married twice. Now in his second five-year-old customary marriage, he still does not wear a ring.

"I got married traditionally and there was no event to exchange rings. I bought my wife a ring, but I do not wear one. For women, being married is a privilege and they want to be seen wearing rings. "

He says if his wife had a problem with him not wearing a wedding ring she would buy him one.

"All it means is that you are no longer available," he adds.

  • Sisanda Ntshinga, 27, of Cape Town, is engaged, wears a ring and carries a stick she calls her companion.

"My companion is a wooden stick with the head of a man, which represents my fiancé. He has his own companion that represents me. They are our rings.

"He gave me a ring later, when people failed to understand the purpose of my companion."

Her symbol "is a constant reminder of the commitment I've made with the one I love. I carry him everywhere I go," she says.

As for people who say a ring does not matter, she says: "It's annoying and feels like disrespect to me and my fiancé."

*not their real names.
- monnakgotlam@sowetan.co.za

SHARE YOUR BIG DAY WITH US:

MZANSI STYLE: This photo is from the Sowetan Weddings blog - Click here to see more of our beautiful brides and gorgeous grooms

 

MZANSI STYLE: This photo is from the Sowetan Weddings blog - Click here to see more of our beautiful brides and gorgeous grooms...

If you would like to submit your photos for consideration, please email tellus@sowetan.co.za, with details of your big day - how you met, who made the dress, who your photographer was, what was your venue like, etc...

.

Would you like to comment on this article?
Register (it's quick and free) or sign in now.

Speech Bubbles

Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.