• Tweet

RELATED ARTICLES

• SMS cheating
• Getting hot under the collar - Men's pet hates about women
• What men think about a woman's bedroom
• Men get best of Women's Day
• Why some women just don't enjoy sex
• Get to know the guys who rule the dating scene
• My cheating made him suspicious
• Courting a dangerous mix
• South Africans are kinky
• Women love 'mate copying' - For some reason they like attached men
• Sex on another level
• Husbands sleeping with domestic helpers!
• Husbands can't handle sick wives
• Sex is beautiful, dirty and messy - celebrities
• Men more likely to give marriage a second chance
• Vanity is a girl-boy thing
• Great sex makes life wonderful - even as work gets harder
• 'SA women are the worst sluts'

Asiphe Ndlela, a psychologist in Illovo, attributes this to the elusiveness of women's sex drive.

"Women have elusive and fleeting sex drives. Simple things can turn a woman off sex," she says.

"Men are blessed with much more testosterone, which is crucial to the sex drive. That is why it is easy for them to get it up in a blink of an eye. For women getting turned on is a mission that not only requires physical but also emotional stimulation."

Sowetan has put together a list of turn-offs in bed:

• Dozing off or facing the other way after sex

Women hate men who leave immediately after orgasm. Ndlela says even if a woman knows you are going to your wife or girlfriend after sex, she needs reassurance.

"She needs to hear that a man enjoyed having sex with her. She needs the man to tell her how sexy she is and how great she is in bed. Women love to talk and caress after the session as the orgasm drive of women reduces slowly compared with men. Women like to make eye contact and stay close after the deed is done, while men want space."

• Farting in bed

Most women Sowetan spoke to said men farting in bed featured among the top five things they hate most.

Zintle Mbuqe, a general practitioner in East London, says though women are turned off by men who fart, they surprisingly on average fart 30% more than men because they tend to get more fibre in their diets than men, which is the main determinant of gas frequency and volume.

But Mbuqe says their farts are less aromatic because they tend to not eat as many spices or high-sulphur foods like red meats.

Ndlela says it is seen as unladylike to fart, so women hold their farts for the loo while men are less inhibited about letting go.

"Actually, for most of them it is a fulfilling exercise. It is a habit they grew up with. As boys they farted on each others' heads. They farted by themselves, they had farting competitions and they farted in groups.

"Also, the media and movies tend to allow only men to fart."

• Gadgets in bed

The advent of social networks has caused strain in most relationships, says Leoni van der Merwe, a marriage counsellor. She says many men are trading cuddling up for chatting on social networks, which most women hate with a passion.

"This phenomenon is so bad that some people go into withdrawal if they have to make do without their phones or computers for some time. They become moody and unromantic."

She adds that technology and its distractions also causes insomnia and puts a damper on your sex life.

"I'm not a sex expert but it needs no sex guru to know that it's harder to initiate sex if your spouse is busy chatting on Twitter, BBM or Facebook rather than whispering sweet nothings to you."

The bed should be used for sex and sleep only, not for gadgets, says Van der Merwe.

• Moaning and talking during sex

"As someone who shares a flat with a colleague, silence is an option. A man who groans is a big turn-off. I just switch off immediately," says Tebogo Ramabudu, a public relations assistant.

• Attempting anal sex and pretending it was an accident

A lot of women hate anal sex. Ramabudu says it is not only painful but is also associated with gay sex.

"I get suspicious of a man who does this. It is dirty and a real turn-off."

• Wearing socks in bed

"Most ladies will agree that socks look a bit silly compared with the rest of the naked body. It is a visual turn-off," Ramabudu says.

Ndlela says most women despise a man wearing socks in bed because it reminds them of one-night stands where sex was rushed: "Though one-night stands are ego-boosting for some men, for most women they are an embarrassment. A half-dressed man triggers disturbing memories".

• This article was first published in the printed newspaper and eEdition on 22 August 2012. Click on this link to view the eEdition

Comments

• Sign in or sign up to comment

Fri May 24 06:47:43 SAST 2013 ::

Aug 24, 2012

BRA-MAFUTHA

@ Sowetan stop give people rubbish information
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

Flemza

Thanks Zenoyise John I will definately take your advise I was wondering why all these beautifull ladies are after me even though I`m married and to make it worse for 18 years , now I know how to chase them away , thank you very much , what a relieve you have brought into my life with your advise at first I thought my first girls friend I had 20 years ago cursed me , now I know why , from now onwards I will start to do what you have said in your artcle to chase these ladies away from me Yaaa neeeeeee thank you
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

VENDALIOUS

Attempting anal sex and pretending it was an accident..............lol i do that all time.

Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

januswanus

Tell us how you do it Mr or Mrs Journalist. Are you teaching us with your article? Well I personally pray before it and ask for forgiveness and pray afterwards, because I am a bachelor. I don't mind how it's done in bed and don't carry those memories. Am I mad?
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

Mnikazi

Hhay...... women get turned ON and OFF whenever it suit them. man can't compete with that.
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

THEmadame2B-BBEE

My man once had a problem with not keeping up his erection, we thought it was due to stress coz his working on his Phd, only to find out that its having too much copper in ones system, like eating food that are high in copper, after five months of eliminating food with too much copper he keeps it up all the time 24/7
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

DJ-Winner

Do some guys really moan during sex? I understand during oral sex it is unavoidable, but during sex itself, there is no need to moan.
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

swona

some women wants anal sex, and I hapen to attract those,
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

Vintage_007

Farting in bed, lol....I do that all the time!!! Hahahahaha
Report Abuse

Aug 24, 2012

MAWARAWARA

@THEmadame2B-BBEE


who asked you about you and your man's sex life? you were suppose to comment ka topic not this nonses you are telling us
Report Abuse

Read all 139 comments