IT IS amazing how retirement can change an individual. Just look at the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual who, not so long ago, was a cyberspace surfer with no equal.

IT IS amazing how retirement can change an individual. Just look at the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual who, not so long ago, was a cyberspace surfer with no equal.

The ex-president is now hopelessly out of touch with developments in Mzansi.

While still the boss of the pool where the crocodiles bathe (Mahlamba-Ndlopfu), the Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual used to spend hours on end behind his computer, researching this and that subject on the internet, sometimes until dawn.

But it would now seem that the takeover of Mahlamba-Ndlopfu by the Polokwane crowd about four years ago has done a lot of damage and reduced him to an ordinary being.

When his spin doctor, Mukoni Ratshitanga, was this week asked to comment on allegations by newly appointed head of the Special Investigating Unit, Judge Willem Heath, that the Tobacco Smoking Pipe Intellectual was involved in "initiating" rape charges against the Machine Gun Man, he said the former president was out of the country and had therefore not seen the report in the City Press.

In his heyday as an IT boffin, the globe-trotting Tobacco Pipe Smoking Intellectual would have simply "googled" the newspaper report on his smart phone, no matter where he was in the world.

He would not have had to return home to read it several days later.

Guluva now doubts whether the ex-pres knows what a GPS navigator is.

From pillar to post

A SMALL Gauteng events management company specialising in facilitating educational trips to prisons was mightily embarrassed last week after one of the visits it had organised was cancelled at the last minute, inconveniencing everyone - pupils, teachers, parents - the lot.

The company wrote a letter to all parents in which it profusely offered a million apologies for the debacle, tacitly blaming the fiasco on the Department of Correctional Services.

Unlike other parents, Guluva swiftly and unconditionally accepted the apology. And he understood why the company's damage control strategy had gone to such extreme lengths.

You see, this company calls itself, and curiously so, "From Pillar to Post".

Amid this public relations disaster, it obviously did not want parents, teachers and pupils so horribly inconvenienced to suddenly start thinking it was taking them from pillar to post.

Road to nowhere

WHICH brings Guluva to Comrade Jacob Mamabolo.

For those who are not well-versed in matters of communism in Mzansi, Comrade Mamabolo is the South African Communist Party's pointsman in Gauteng.

Nobody knew who he was until a couple of weeks ago when he threatened the Zille-De Lille Connection-controlled Midvaal Municipality with fire and brimstone.

This was after Public Protector Thuli Madonsela found the municipality to be also mired in financial maladministration, just like those under the control of "Ain't Seen Nothing Yet".

That's when Comrade Jacob promised to launch a programme on November 24, during which his organisation would not only "ensure that criminal action is taken against corruption", but also to dispel "the misguided and false view" that Midvaal was the best-run municipality in Gauteng.

Guluva was among those who welcomed the move.

It is now more than a week after the deadline has passed and yet there is still no sign of a programme of action - or the "mother of all battles" - against "corrupt" Midvaal.

While certain organisations take us from pillar to post; this one takes us nowhere.

l Email Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com