• Tweet

IN TATTERS: One's reputation is not restored overnight.

 Life is not a success-only journey. Learn from your bad decisions and move on 

You have schemed, sucked up and lied about your colleagues to get noticed. You wear the shortest of skirts, you are the loudest, the least qualified for the job and the laziest employee.

Nobody respects you anymore and your reputation is in tatters.

Research over the years strongly confirms that more employees are fired because they don't get along with co-workers and bosses.

Asiphe Ndlela, a psycho-logist, says building a good reputation takes a long time to develop. Destroying it only requires a split second of bad judgement.

"Your reputation is your biggest asset. It is a balancing act to juggle the way you come across to others and how they interpret that interchange. Your reputation is nothing, but the public opinion about you. It represents what kind of an image you have in the eyes of others. Having a good reputation is very important at work."

Ndlela says if you want to salvage it, the first person you've got to repair your reputation with, is yourself.

"Ask yourself, am I a bad woman? Do I hurt people? If the answer is yes, stop feeling guilty and being angry with yourself. Own up to your mistakes, forgive yourself for them but don't continue to beat yourself up. Life is not a success-only journey. Learn from your bad decisions and move on."

She says it is important to ask yourself what you would like to see happen in order to clear your name.

"Is there anything that anyone - the bosses, your co-workers - can do that could ever make the situation better?"

She advises the person to walk tall.

"If you walk into the world hanging your head in shame people will treat you that way. You have to be your best friend and you have to decide who you are.

"Begin the process of closure by not reacting to what you think people are saying about you.

"If you allow yourself to be intimidated, feel guilty or shrink away because of what people think, you are putting yourself in a prison."

She says it is also important to seek a second or third opinion from trusted colleagues to determine if there is any validity to your bad reputation.

"If you are in a managerial position, reconsider your managerial style. Ask yourself, could I make subtle changes? Am I a good communicator and listener?

"If you determine that you need to improve a personal attribute, make a commitment to yourself to change your ways.

"Also perform one act every single day that counteracts your bad reputation.

"Most importantly, your bad reputation has built over a period of time. Do not expect to get rid of it within a few hours or days.

"It will take time for people to remove your old, bad image from their mind and replace it with the new, pleasant one.

"So, you need to exercise a lot of patience and stick to your efforts. Don't lose hope midway. Remember 'impossible' itself says 'I'm possible'.

"So, just keep on making efforts and soon, people will get used to the image of the 'new you'."

She adds that it is important to always have something nice to say about other people.

"Even if you don't like the person's work or you don't like interacting with that person, always have something good to say about them.

"If you continue to say something good about somebody else, even while they are thinking something negative about you, you will actually be able to change their perceptions about you.

"Studies have shown that those that give flattering comments towards other people actually improve the other person's impression of themselves. Using this same theory, make sure that you always have something good to say about your co-workers."

Now you are changing your ways. What do you do if some people remind you about the past?

Ndlela says if you are ever confronted or questioned about past deeds, disregard it with a laugh and explain.

Say: "It was just a stage I was going through" or "It was just a stupid part of my life I'd rather forget".

Comments

• Sign in or sign up to comment

Tue May 21 15:57:36 SAST 2013 ::

Aug 16, 2011

TupacAmaru

I notice the article is directed particularly to women. Wonder why. Are they the only ones who can climb up the corporate ladder scheming?
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

k-bee

We have so many in our office in our office alone 10 ladies and 3 guys they all sleeping with the boss
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

ayobaness

i also wear mini skirts but m not a slut
sometimes i wear leggings with short top just to show my body
my body is not sexy but m proud of it especially my big tummy nd small ass
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

Catty88

I hope many ladies can take this to their head.

You intelligents will get you somewhere.You kuku will get you on the desk and not anywhere beyond that.

Rather work for your respect and image but in the end people will still respect you even 10years for now but no one will respect a person who slept her way to the top.

The same way you go there is the same way you will get down.

Remember succes obtained over night is also lost over night.
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

Ann

@ayobaness, hhhaaaaaaaaaa so funny
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

ntwempe

Hold on sisters it is better to slip for something rather than nothing from those we call my boyfriend or my lover who can live me any time when feel like doing it.
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

EmptyTin

K'shubile nowadays this young boys they are also busy selling their ndunus to this straight/in closet and marrried directors to get positions at work
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

$$$$

This councelling suits our officers.....most of the female wardens sleep their way up the Department ladder......some even sleep with the famouse and cash loaded inmates during the night shifts.

Very sad....

In the yesterday sagga...how do they explain to spouses....what about the kids at school and their friends.

However @Sowetan, it was wrong of them to publish such a disaster....do not again.

I am not condoning the deed of the officers but feel for their immediate ones spouses and kids.
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

Lee-Ann

@ayobaness...That is too ayouba. U shud be proud of ur body...U go girl!
Report Abuse

Aug 16, 2011

SKIZOBANTWANA

SIYABAZI'' THERE ARE SOME OF THESE YOUNG ATTRACTIVE LADIES YOU'LL FIND GETTING PROMOTED _WITHOUT BEING COMPETENT OR SOMETHING'' BEHIND CLOSED DOORS ,THEY ARE GIVING IT ALL TO THE BOSSES..

BULA NTHO` EO... tl tl tl tl
Report Abuse

Read all 114 comments