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Ntando Duma's childhood pain: My father was really abusive and set our shack alight

By Kyle Zeeman | 2016-11-30 13:57:41.0 | COMMENTS [ 27 ]

In a telling interview with TshisaLIVE actress and TV personality Ntando Duma has opened up about the painful childhood memories she has of growing up in an abusive home.

Even though Ntando may appear to be one of the most cheerful people in the world today‚ the pain of watching her father beat her mom has haunted her for years.

“I can still remember some of the things that happened‚ now‚” Ntando told TshisaLIVE recently.

Benni McCarthy relives the pain of growing up in an 'abusive' home

She said that her father would drink and come home upset. He would then apparently take his anger out on his family by beating them.

“My father was an alcoholic and used to drink a lot‚ he was very abusive. The most tragic thing is me and my siblings would often cry because we were seeing him beating our mother‚ and he would then beat all of us too‚” Ntando recalled.

She recounted how one day her father came home drunk and ended up setting the family’s shack alight.

“We used to live in a shack in Soweto and one day he (her father) came home really drunk and instead of knocking and asking for us to let him in‚ he set the whole shack alight. We were inside. We had to call an ambulance and neighbours to help us.

“It was so horrible. We were screaming. My mother threw us all out of the window and then she tried to find a way out for herself‚” Ntando said.

Ntando’s mother decided to move her children to Orange Farm when Ntando was only six years old‚ after the abuse apparently became too much.

“My dad was really abusive. And my mother wanted us‚ as her children‚ to be away from the whole situation and sent us to live with our grandmother‚” Ntando explained.

She said that her mother would often visit them on weekends to bring them food and clothes‚ but that her contact with her father became scarce until he eventually “just disappeared“.

“He passed away in 2008‚ when I was 13. His family came to look for us to help bury him. We had to go. He was never a human being when he was alive. He was never a father. So I was like ‘whatever‚ let’s just go and bury him‚’” Ntando added.

Shortly after her father’s death‚ Ntando and her siblings were helped by her father’s relatives‚ who wanted to make amends for the situation. It was then that Ntando was taken in by a family member who put her through high school.

 

 

COMMENTS [ 27 ]

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2016-11-30 14:00:57.0 | 0 replies

INTERLECTA

No wonder akere aona mekgwa, o kera letwatwa and always flashing your body parts and have the nerve to fat on live television when my kid is watching you

2016-11-30 14:02:02.0 | 1 replies

IndigenousNconservative

SL likes this masepa a ngwanyana

2016-11-30 14:12:19.0 | 1 replies

INTERLECTA

SL is like DA barata ditlakala at times you know

2016-11-30 14:17:06.0 | 0 replies

s.cold

HE SHOULD HAVE SET YOUR SAGILA HEAD ALIGHT AS WELL BIACH

2016-11-30 14:07:09.0 | 2 replies
2016-11-30 14:45:30.0 | 0 replies

AskokaM

hahahahahah wena kodwa!

2016-11-30 15:24:03.0 | 0 replies

Grid_lock

So what?? why didnt ur stupid mother move out, oops she was milking the man high and dry.women depending on men is the reason idiotic men end up abusing them.

2016-11-30 14:10:00.0 | 1 replies

INTERLECTA

Exactly man, you don't talk much and just knows how to do straight talk

2016-11-30 14:13:01.0 | 0 replies

Kupe

Alcoholic parents are the worst. I am glad you are doing fine now. Not everybody should be a parent. Hugs, nana

2016-11-30 14:14:27.0 | 0 replies

INTERLECTA

Mos selo se ke tlola molora and the gal is active, bashimane baja go sa butswa yong but akere bare o tlare di a butswa kgane di a bola

2016-11-30 14:29:42.0 | 0 replies

oldlady12

Okay, can we please stop having these private confessions from black celebs now? You all make it sound like black men are really all as bad as Sin says they are. Listen to that small skeleton minister, please. Some things are meant to stay in the closet.

2016-11-30 14:33:07.0 | 2 replies

INTERLECTA

Old - so you believe what Sin says?

2016-11-30 14:38:55.0 | 1 replies

oldlady12

Interlecta, do you?

2016-11-30 14:51:39.0 | 1 replies

INTERLECTA

Old - It depends on what he is saying and if that is factual and can be verified with sufficient proof and don't counter ask i asked you first so answer please

2016-11-30 14:57:38.0 | 1 replies

oldlady12

Interlecta, my first comment is very clear. Read it.

2016-11-30 15:06:56.0 | 1 replies

INTERLECTA

Do you believe Sin? answer me stop referring me, i want clearance

2016-11-30 15:16:44.0 | 1 replies

oldlady12

Interlecta, do you?

2016-11-30 15:38:38.0 | 0 replies

somaartakeit

actually old lady white kids and white women and young men too have these issues, domestic violence is not a black issue its a global human issue, just now a famous football coach in the UK has been implicated in sexually abusing young footballers, apparently the abuse dates back for decades, so no its not just black ppl, and if we have any empathy we must encourage victims/survivors to speak up, from this they get their strength, so well done Ntando for telling your experience, I hope having strength to look into the situation will help you heal, and will help you be stronger and learn to trust again,

2016-11-30 16:34:39.0 | 1 replies

oldlady12

somaar, of course people of all races have these issues. Only a complete idjut would try to say otherwise. My point is black celebs here in SA have been "coming out of the closet" in droves lately. Maybe I'm just getting old, but in my day you left your past behind you, especially if you made it in life, and you go forward. This "tell the whole world your life story every day" thing does not sit well with me.

2016-11-30 17:17:02.0 | 0 replies

DIKOLOTO

Why don't these guys like Rebecca go for counselling? It is depressing to to want pity. There are people who actually need the pity.

2016-11-30 14:35:41.0 | 1 replies

somaartakeit

how is she wanting pity? really ppl who don't understand anything about domestic violence should not talk, cause now you start to blame a victim for taking back power, on an issue that happened to her when she was a vulnerable kid, can you begin to imagine what this girl and many families like hers go through in an uncaring country like ours? no child should have to deal with this situation,

2016-11-30 16:36:50.0 | 0 replies

Llihle1

all these abusive fathers died in 2008!hayi

2016-11-30 14:57:55.0 | 0 replies

Jengele

Something from be behaviour/ personality indicates it.

2016-11-30 15:39:49.0 | 0 replies

somaartakeit

Hence I always say, it doesn't matter how far along the life of a survivor to speak about abuse they personally experienced, am glad that Ntando had opportunity to speak about her awful experience, hope speaking about it will help her and her siblings and mom to heal a little bit, I am very sorry for every child who finds him or herself in this awful situation, at least the saving grace in this story is that the family of hte husband came out to try make amends, in SA mental health is a serious problem which the gov is neglecting. Obviously her father had his own issues which he never got counseling for, parents are not always as strong as they appear to be, hopefully Ntando you will somehow make peace with what your father did to you.

2016-11-30 16:30:55.0 | 0 replies
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