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SA secrets are safe with Evita

ADOPT OR WAAI: Evita Bezuidenhout and her Juju statue.
ADOPT OR WAAI: Evita Bezuidenhout and her Juju statue.

Evita Bezuidenhout, South Africa's most famous white lady of politics, has joined the ANC, with the sole purpose of chairing the proposed media tribunal, satirist and playwright Pieter Dirk Uys has revealed.

Evita (Uys), dressed glamorously in a yellow green dress with white stripes, announced her new political allegiance yesterday at a media conference held at Johannesburg Theatre in Braamfontein.

The satirist, known for witty and yet bold takes on South Africa's political elites from the apartheid era right through to the current political leadership, said she wanted President Jacob Zuma to know that she is ready to take on the role of chairperson of the proposed media tribunal.

"I want him to know that I am ready and available to assume that responsibility. I can assure him that in me he will have a balanced chairperson of the media tribunal to take care of issues of media freedom," she said.

In a interesting twist to the proceedings at the media conference, Evita took the opportunity to introduce a black "child" in the form a wooden statue that has a striking resemblance to beleaguered ANC Youth League leader Julius Malema.

Her "child" was unveiled from a piece of clothing that has the face of former president Thabo Mbeki.

"Charlize Theron has just adopted an African American child, and that is a perfect story of an Afrikaans person adopting a black child. And just like her, I have decided to also adopt a black 'child'. This 'child' I have adopted from Polokwane, and this piece of cloth I picked it up in the streets of Polokwane at the 2007 ANC conference. The first name of this child starts with a J," said Evita amid laughter from members of the media.

Evita is the famous alter ego of prolific playwright and satirist Pieter-Dirk Uys whose new show Adapt or Fly will have a season at the Joburg Theatre, opening today.

"Adapt or Fly! Mrs Evita Bezuidenhout, Kidi Amin, Pik Botha, Nowell Fine, Mrs Petersen, the old Krokodil, Madiba and the dancing DA are coming to the rescue. In a time of depression, recession, fear and anger. What is better and more healing than a good laugh at the expense of those who depress, recess, frighten and annoy us?

"Pieter-Dirk Uys celebrates 2012 as a year of radical change in South Africa through political paralysis. From the R100m ANC centenary celebration in January, right up that long-winding road to end up again in Mangaung for the ANC December congress, the ruling party will be too busy fighting each other for personal wealth and political power to bother themselves about running a country up or down," says the producer of the show.

Just like almost all his productions so far, a collection of famous politicians including past National Party leaders (DF Malan, JG Strydom, HF Verwoerd, BJ Vorster, PW Botha and FW de Klerk), and ANC presidents from Nelson Mandela, via Thabo Mbeki, through Kgalema Motlanthe to Jacob Zuma are the subjects of his new satirical work. In this production Julius Malema's nickname is Kidi Amin.

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