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FAVOURITE GIRL: Kate Beckinsale is back as the unlaughing vampire heroine Selene in Underworld

 Movie: Underworld - Awakening
Directors: Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein
Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Sandrine Holt, Theo James, Michael Ealy and India Eisley 

But then the whole shebang, unappetising and gory as it is, has been making money at the box office. That means we might see a fifth film (oh, no!).

In fact, flick fan, you're the reason why the fifth Underworld movie will be shot because you'll view one opening today - Underworld: Awakening - because you're a traitor.

Don't look at me that way; I only watched it so that I could tip you on how unpalatable it is, that's all. Yes, if I had a choice I wouldn't have. Things we do for love! Or is it for money?

You will at least be glad that your favourite girl, Kate Beckinsale, is back as the unlaughing vampire heroine Selene. Yep, she's in those tight leather pants you've adored since the first film.

You pervert!

Those pants are possibly the only reason why the cinema will be full of drooling men. Just pulling your legs. It's been 12 years that she's been kept imprisoned by humans. This, in itself, is not plausible as far as the plot goes: how can human beings successfully capture such as powerful vampire for so long?

Anyway, she escapes (obviously she was going to!) and learns that the humans are attempting to get rid of both the vampires (she's not safe) and the werewolves (the so-called Lycan clan).

The government squires decide to enter the fray, giving the citizens more reasons to panic. But the catch in this Underworld is that Selene must locate a hybrid named Eve (India Eisley).

The latter seems to be the sole ingredient to put an end to the war between humans versus vampires and werewolves.

The lesson you can re-learn (if you manage to withstand to bites and gushing blood) is that humans are the cause of all suffering in the world.

Oh, you're welcome to stare at sexy Beckinsale's leather pants as much as you wish. It's dark in the cinema, so no one will notice. Just to give you something to look forward to, somewhere in the beginning of the film, Selina (Beckinsale) comes out of some tank and quickly jumps into those leather skin-tights. Habba, habba.

It's not a great story, I'm afraid. And it's not my kind of movie in any case. But the cinematography does make up for most of the letdowns. The fight scenes are not too bad and not too great. Jeez, you read until the end? You have a huge liver, I tell you!

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Wed May 22 17:50:17 SAST 2013 ::

Jan 20, 2012

Vanzwane

Xolani.

What are bad review that you made ! (Shocking for a reporter/journalist)

Just because you don't like that type of a movie does not mean that everyone feels the same.

If I were the producer of this Film, I would sue your A$$!

Dissapointed Fan
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Jan 20, 2012

Tabza325is

@Vanzwane, I don't care about critics reviews anymore 99% of critics out there are bias, they don't review a movie from a nutral point, it's always what they like and if they don't action movies then that movie will get a bad review. Look at that fat guy from the Star-Tonight all his reviews are bias, he hates action packed movies, si-fi movies and movies with lots of special effects, most of the action movie he gave a bad review I went to watch them I enjoyed them living me wondering what was the reviewer on about. When that fat guy from the Star-Tonight when he reviews a movie with lots of dialog, with actor crying and in a quite plot he gives those movies a high score claiming great acting, reviews are too bias to be given those jobs.
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Jan 20, 2012

Control

i cant wait for tonight and Xolani M Shezi u should take back your words
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Jan 20, 2012

Nsizwa

Gays shouldn't review movies.Period.
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Jan 23, 2012

Sphihliphihli

@Tebza325is, I so agree with you my man. I now rely on movie websites for reviews because all newspaper reviews are abias. Listen to this lady when she says "it should have not gone beyond the first film" I mean the second movie was better than the first one with brilliant special effects and plot. What I expect from a movie reviewer is the plot,good parts, bad parts and the ending. Then his or her personal feelings about the movie. Not rubbishing the movie right from the start. One movie reviewer on radio confessed that she likes inspirational movies. My personal problem with inspirational movies is that the main character always scores a winning goal on the last minute.
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Jan 24, 2012

Rasbanji

pathetic review.Try do your research on the targeted audience.Or else you will just step on the wrong toes.I'm not a fan of the movie but still, come on really. Your critics are not even worth taking note of, i might just watch the movie after reading this. Fake it to you make it.....that's you motto but live it alone, not upon us.
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