Some blatant hypocrisy for sincerity's sake
WHAT on earth is going on in the Tripartite Alliance, Vera wondered this week as she floated about looking for new spots to haunt.
There was the goatee man Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe telling journalists the party that governs the country is no different from the SPCA, Cancer Association or Save the Children.
"Remember the ANC is a nongovernmental organisation so it relates to government the same way as all other NGOs do," he said, denying that the ANC was dictating to the government on how to handle the Gauteng e-tolling circus.
A few days later Vera was drifting about in Durban when she came across that famous bourgeois communist, Blade Nzimande, pictured.
The bourgeois one was foaming at the mouth justifying to workers why he deserves a R1,7 million minister's salary and a pashash Seven Series BMW instead of sweating it out at the South African Communist Party offices.
"The SACP is a political party, not some Marxist-Leninist NGO. We are deeply interested in political power and party political influence in all key seats of power," Mr Bourgeois told the bemused workers.
Could someone please decode all of this NGO talk for Vera? Asseblief.
Grave ideas from Pheko
There was once this politician named Motsoko Pheko, pictured, who moved his body around like a cross between a zombie and a break-dance champion. He was something or other in the zombie party called the Pan Africanist Congress.
Like a true zombie, he came out of his grave recently to pay tribute to a living zombie: "So far, imperialists have found President Robert Mugabe a hard nut to crack. Two British Prime Ministers, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, and President George Bush of America have become despicable casualties in the battle field of 'regime change' in Zimbabwe against President Robert Mugabe.
"The imperialist European leaders have gone down the political drain, on the shores of Africa. President Nicolas Sarkozy of France, who enthusiastically created a 'New Libya' in the imperialist war for 'regime change', seems headed for the political dustbin of history.
"Mugabe is still standing. He is still in command. Africa needs more African leaders like President Mugabe. Otherwise, Africa's authentic liberation will never arrive," he growled from the cemetery.
In media veritas
Vera was intrigued to hear the spokesman for Bheki "Chest-In-Chest-Out" Cele sing the praises of the media this week.
The spokesman, a chap by the name of Vuyo Mkhize, told the nation yesterday that he and Chest-In-Chest-Out had not yet officially heard that he was about to be fired.
But, added the Mkhize fellow, if it was in the media then it must be true. He explained that every time President Jacob "I know what I'm doing" Zuma was about to take action against Chest-In-Chest-Out, they first heard about it from the media mill and it always turned out to be true.
That is so good to hear. Now please tell Jimmy "Surplus People" Manyi that.
l Vera's Question of the Week: What does Humphrey Mmemezi, right, pay for with his own money?