Motlanthe won't rock JZ's boat
IT IS not every day that one becomes president of a country.
That's probably why some people are prepared to kill for their preferred presidential candidates.
As head of state you don't only have a bird's-eye view of your country, but you also carry enormous responsibilities, as well as the hopes and aspirations of millions of your fellow countrymen.
You live in the lap of luxury, fêted by queens and kings all over the world and fly first-class or in presidential jets that are sometimes escorted by one or two planes.
Surrounded by hawk-eyed and highly trained bodyguards around the clock, your safety is almost guaranteed.
What's more, the job also comes with a hefty pension.
After serving as president you don't need a CV anymore. You are a walking CV.
But in Mzansi, the Man with the White Goatee, Kgalema Motlanthe himself, strangely believes being president is not a big deal.
In the latest Faces of Government poster inserted in a number of newspapers, the Man with the White Goatee lists his previous positions as a "trade unionist of the Congress of SA Trade Unions", general secretary of the Union of Mineworkers, general secretary of Ain't Seen Nothing Yet and member of Parliament.
Despite serving the country as a democratically elected president between September 25 2008 and May 9 2009, the Man with the White Goatee did not see this as an important milestone in his political career to the extent of including it in his abridged CV.
But with the road to Mangaung becoming increasingly dangerous, his amnesia or attempt to airbrush history is perfectly understandable.
He definitely would not want to step on the Machine Gun Man's toes by including this historical fact on his CV because he would most likely be accused of trying to portray himself as the incumbent's equal.
FNB still lost in the past
COULD someone, especially Steve, please wake First National Bank from its deep slumber and gently remind it that Mzansi is no longer under apartheid rule and that all the labels that were tied to its painful past have been disposed of?
You see, FNB has of late been passing disparaging remarks about Steve, portraying him as a backward, good-for-nothing and out-of-touch banker. It did this while it tried to endear itself to the public as a technologically savvy and modern banking institution that offers 21st century products.
Imagine Guluva's surprise when, while doing an EFT, he discovered that FNB still has, in this day and age, a branch in Limpopo called Giyani (TVL).
This abbreviation - for all born-frees out there - stands for Transvaal, one of the four provinces of apartheid South Africa.
Transvaal, if FNB does not know, died the same day that apartheid met its demise 18 years ago.
Do you still have a problem with Steve, FNB? Or rather, how can we help you?
"WE will continue to work hard until the last end of the season," Orlando Pirates captain Lucky Lekgwathi said in a TV interview after the Buccaneers were held to a 1-all draw by Ajax Cape Town in an Absa Premiership match at Green Point Stadium in Cape Town at the weekend.
Please wake Guluva up when we finally reach the "last end of the season".
E-mail: Guluva at email@example.com