'The Last Dictator Standing'
A DWINDLING coterie of Mad Bob's supporters is running around the deserted streets of Harare like headless chickens, in protest after Nando's took pity on him following the realisation that he will have no one to share his chicken with this festive season, now that he is "the last dictator standing".
His fellow travellers - Uganda's Idi Amin, Iraq's Saddam Hussein, Libya's Muammar Gaddafi, Egypt's Hosni Mubarak and Tunisia's Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, among others - will fortunately or unfortunately not be joining him for dinner this festive season as they have either died or been deposed, hence his new title: The Last Dictator Standing.
The title, made famous by Nando's latest advertising campaign, has ruffled a couple of feathers at home and abroad.
Even executives of Nando's subsidiary in Zimbabwe have cried fowl. It is said that they are even seriously considering chickening out of the chicken business for fear of having their wings clipped, a move that might force them to join the chicken run out of Zimbabwe.
Guluva wonders why all these people are making a meal out of this advertising campaign. It is not an exaggeration or untruth that Mad Bob is "the last dictator standing". The Nando's ad tells us what we already know.
If anything, what the ad is simply trying to convey to every one - including the Last Dictator himself - is that the chickens have come home to roost for him.
Wolfing at the trough
GULUVA has said it before, and he wants to say it again: his favourite politician is Oom Gwede.
The oom cuts it for him because of his amazing down-to-earthness, incredible way with words, great interpersonal skills, intense dislike for bling, deep abhorrence for corruption, unwavering commitment to the struggle and liberation cause and, most of all, his brutal honesty and frankness.
A straight talker if ever there was one. He calls a spade a spade, not a garden fork. But it had never occurred to Guluva that Oom Gwede would one day compare his wayward comrades to rodents, no matter how angry he might be.
Speaking angrily about greed and corruption earlier this week, Oom Gwede described how, in a way that has never been done before, his comrades, who "stayed in the bush, in the underground" during the struggle years, were now feeding greedily at the trough.
Then he said: "It's like taking a mouse and you say it must manage a cheese factory."
It looks like we will need a lot of mousetraps.
No economic freedom yet
THE future of the Inconvenient Youth, aka Woodwork Boy, aka Juju in the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet family is, by his own admission, balancing on a knife's edge. Judging by the developments taking place behind the scenes, there's not a hope in hell that the Inconvenient Youth will stay in the family for much longer.
That is why the man who has been calling himself an "economic freedom fighter" of late is rumoured to be toying with the idea of forming his own political party.
But he cannot, unfortunately, call his party the Movement for the Economic Transformation of South Africa. That name has already been taken - by one Sibusiso Master Radebe, founder of the Miracle 2000 pyramid scheme.
Chickens roosting in Harare
'The Last Dictator Standing'
A DWINDLING coterie of Mad Bob's supporters is running around the deserted streets of Harare like headless chickens, in protest after Nando's took pity on him following the realisation that he will have no one to share his chicken with this festive season, now that he is "the last dictator standing".
His fellow travellers - Uganda's Idi Amin, Iraq's Saddam Hussein, Libya's Muammar Gaddafi, Egypt's Hosni Mubarak and Tunisia's Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, among others - will fortunately or unfortunately not be joining him for dinner this festive season as they have either died or been deposed, hence his new title: The Last Dictator Standing.
The title, made famous by Nando's latest advertising campaign, has ruffled a couple of feathers at home and abroad.
Even executives of Nando's subsidiary in Zimbabwe have cried fowl. It is said that they are even seriously considering chickening out of the chicken business for fear of having their wings clipped, a move that might force them to join the chicken run out of Zimbabwe.
Guluva wonders why all these people are making a meal out of this advertising campaign. It is not an exaggeration or untruth that Mad Bob is "the last dictator standing". The Nando's ad tells us what we already know.
If anything, what the ad is simply trying to convey to every one - including the Last Dictator himself - is that the chickens have come home to roost for him.
Wolfing at the trough
GULUVA has said it before, and he wants to say it again: his favourite politician is Oom Gwede.
The oom cuts it for him because of his amazing down-to-earthness, incredible way with words, great interpersonal skills, intense dislike for bling, deep abhorrence for corruption, unwavering commitment to the struggle and liberation cause and, most of all, his brutal honesty and frankness.
A straight talker if ever there was one. He calls a spade a spade, not a garden fork. But it had never occurred to Guluva that Oom Gwede would one day compare his wayward comrades to rodents, no matter how angry he might be.
Speaking angrily about greed and corruption earlier this week, Oom Gwede described how, in a way that has never been done before, his comrades, who "stayed in the bush, in the underground" during the struggle years, were now feeding greedily at the trough.
Then he said: "It's like taking a mouse and you say it must manage a cheese factory."
It looks like we will need a lot of mousetraps.
No economic freedom yet
THE future of the Inconvenient Youth, aka Woodwork Boy, aka Juju in the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet family is, by his own admission, balancing on a knife's edge. Judging by the developments taking place behind the scenes, there's not a hope in hell that the Inconvenient Youth will stay in the family for much longer.
That is why the man who has been calling himself an "economic freedom fighter" of late is rumoured to be toying with the idea of forming his own political party.
But he cannot, unfortunately, call his party the Movement for the Economic Transformation of South Africa. That name has already been taken - by one Sibusiso Master Radebe, founder of the Miracle 2000 pyramid scheme.
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