AT the kiddies' jamboree at Gallagher Estate a few weeks ago the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's kindergarten apparently decided in one of its closed sessions to quietly ditch the Machine Gun in favour of his deputy, Kgalema Motlanthe, for the party's presidency come the December 2012 Mangaung elective conference.
On Tuesday, amid the mother body's clampdown on the leadership succession debate, the kindergarten sent Motlanthe a birthday message in which it mischievously addressed him as "Mr President".
"Comrade Kgalema Motlanthe represents a brighter future of the ANC and the country and will always be celebrated as one of the best leaders of his generation," read the kindergarten's birthday message.
But it now appears as if Motlanthe's tenure as Ain't Nothing Yet president has evaporated into thin air even before it began.
Hardly a day later, the day after his birthday to be exact, the kindergarten felt he was no longer the one who represented "a brighter future of the ANC and the country".
That was the day when the kindergarten's prefect, the Woodwork Boy, aka Juju, stood in front of a battery of TV cameras and declared: "I am the only remaining leader in South Africa [who] goes anywhere, who gets welcomed in squatter camps."
This, by implication, means even the "celebrated" Motlanthe is not welcome in squatter camps. If he is not, he therefore cannot be president. Only Juju can.
There goes the precious opportunity of serving Mzansi as president for the second time, Comrade Kgalema.
As they say, a week is too long in politics.
Send him to Serpukhov
GULUVA does not like to kick a man when he is down. This also applies to sickly Shrien Dewani, who is languishing - Guluva is using the word advisedly - in a five-star, upmarket British rehab while fighting attempts to extradite him to South Africa to answer questions about the killing of his wife, Anni, during their honeymoon in Cape Town last year.
Apparently the fresh-faced Dewani's biggest fear is that he might become another man's wyfie in a Mzansi jail should he be found guilty of orchestrating the murder of his own wife.
His fear is real, if you recall the findings of the Jali Commission of Inquiry, which investigated widespread sexual violence, gangsterism and corruption in our prisons about 10 years ago.
Perhaps our authorities should assure Dewani that he will, should he be convicted of the crime, not serve his sentence in Mzansi but elsewhere.
Here Guluva is thinking of a prison called Serpukhov, outside Moscow in Russia, where prisoners are said to from time to time hold lavish parties when the warders are not looking.
One such party took place last week, when a dozen of smiling, semi-naked Russian prisoners helped themselves to caviar on a piece of bread in full view of cellphone cameras.
The photographs, posted on the Internet, show toga-wearing prisoners brandishing cardboard tridents and swords while standing in front of a table laden with mouth-watering food.
The occasion was apparently in honour of Russia's criminal boss, one Anton Kuznetsov, 26.
The hardened criminal is even shown in one photo receiving a delivery from a local McDonald's outlet.
This jail can help restore fragile and frail Dewani to instantaneous health.
- E-mail Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com
Hello and adios, Mr President
AT the kiddies' jamboree at Gallagher Estate a few weeks ago the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's kindergarten apparently decided in one of its closed sessions to quietly ditch the Machine Gun in favour of his deputy, Kgalema Motlanthe, for the party's presidency come the December 2012 Mangaung elective conference.
On Tuesday, amid the mother body's clampdown on the leadership succession debate, the kindergarten sent Motlanthe a birthday message in which it mischievously addressed him as "Mr President".
"Comrade Kgalema Motlanthe represents a brighter future of the ANC and the country and will always be celebrated as one of the best leaders of his generation," read the kindergarten's birthday message.
But it now appears as if Motlanthe's tenure as Ain't Nothing Yet president has evaporated into thin air even before it began.
Hardly a day later, the day after his birthday to be exact, the kindergarten felt he was no longer the one who represented "a brighter future of the ANC and the country".
That was the day when the kindergarten's prefect, the Woodwork Boy, aka Juju, stood in front of a battery of TV cameras and declared: "I am the only remaining leader in South Africa [who] goes anywhere, who gets welcomed in squatter camps."
This, by implication, means even the "celebrated" Motlanthe is not welcome in squatter camps. If he is not, he therefore cannot be president. Only Juju can.
There goes the precious opportunity of serving Mzansi as president for the second time, Comrade Kgalema.
As they say, a week is too long in politics.
Send him to Serpukhov
GULUVA does not like to kick a man when he is down. This also applies to sickly Shrien Dewani, who is languishing - Guluva is using the word advisedly - in a five-star, upmarket British rehab while fighting attempts to extradite him to South Africa to answer questions about the killing of his wife, Anni, during their honeymoon in Cape Town last year.
Apparently the fresh-faced Dewani's biggest fear is that he might become another man's wyfie in a Mzansi jail should he be found guilty of orchestrating the murder of his own wife.
His fear is real, if you recall the findings of the Jali Commission of Inquiry, which investigated widespread sexual violence, gangsterism and corruption in our prisons about 10 years ago.
Perhaps our authorities should assure Dewani that he will, should he be convicted of the crime, not serve his sentence in Mzansi but elsewhere.
Here Guluva is thinking of a prison called Serpukhov, outside Moscow in Russia, where prisoners are said to from time to time hold lavish parties when the warders are not looking.
One such party took place last week, when a dozen of smiling, semi-naked Russian prisoners helped themselves to caviar on a piece of bread in full view of cellphone cameras.
The photographs, posted on the Internet, show toga-wearing prisoners brandishing cardboard tridents and swords while standing in front of a table laden with mouth-watering food.
The occasion was apparently in honour of Russia's criminal boss, one Anton Kuznetsov, 26.
The hardened criminal is even shown in one photo receiving a delivery from a local McDonald's outlet.
This jail can help restore fragile and frail Dewani to instantaneous health.
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