IF YOU thought Ain't Seen Nothing Yet leaders such as Nomvula "Pantsula Premier" Mokonyane, provincial secretary David Makhura and chairman Paul Mashatile were streetwise, Guluva is afraid you have to think again

For the past seven weeks or so, these well-meaning and popular leaders have been making endless trips to Midvaal in an effort to wrest the area - the only one in Gauteng not under the control of the party - from Madam Godzille's vice-like grip.

They found thousands of black people waiting for them.

Speaking impeccable Sesotho, the locals warmly embraced the leaders and promised them they were behind the ruling party all the way.

They packed local venues to the brim every time Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's big guns - including the Woodwork Boy aka Juju and former "mother of the nation" Winnie Madikizela-Mandela - came into town to address them.

Sensing that Midvaal was in the bag, party leaders continued to spoil "our people on the ground" rotten, with Comrade Winnie even handing out food parcels and brand-new branded Ain't Seen Nothing Yet blankets on the eve of the elections on May 18.

It was only a day or two later - after Madam Godzille's party decisively retained Midvaal - that Mokonyane, Makhura and Mashatile realised they had been sold a dummy.

That's when, in fact, it became clear that not all the people who showed Ain't Seen Nothing Yet leaders unequivocal and undivided support all this time had gone to the polling stations to vote for the party on May 18 as expected.

They had, instead, stayed at home as they had known all along they would not be going to vote as they were illegal immigrants.

What a cheek they have, these illegal aliens, to pull wool over our leaders' eyes like that for a few parcels of food.

Jesus in Godzille country

THE world did not come to an end on Saturday, but Jesus did come back and is alive and well and living in Cape Town, in Madam Godzille country nogal.

Wasn't it the Machine Gun Man who told us that his party would rule until "Jesus comes back"?

Well, the party is not ruling Cape Town after it failed to win the city in the recent local government elections - managing to secure only 32,8percent of the vote, a disappointing performance by its own standards - prompting Jesus to return, even though he will be sadly confined to the Mother City.

Not winnable

WHAT more can Ain't Seen Nothing Yet really do to win both Cape Town and the Western Cape after yet another disastrous performance at the polls despite no effort or resource being spared to get both of them back into the party fold?

The answer seems to lie in the possible realignment of the demographic make-up of the city and the province.

Government spin doctor Jimmy Manyi was the first to hint at this when he complained of the "oversupply of coloureds in Western Cape" and nicely asked them to spread out across the country. Unfortunately, they did not heed the call.

Now that the party has unsuccessfully used every trick in the book to take votes away from Madam Godzille, Guluva says he will not be at all surprised if something similar to apartheid-style forced removal is mooted before the 2014 national government elections in a desperate attempt to have both the city and province under its control once and for all.