WE ALL know that being away from home for extended periods of time can be stressful and a harrowing experience at times, no matter how exquisite and exotic the tourist destination might be.

That's why Guluva's heart was with the Proteas when they left these shores to represent Mzansi in the 2011 ICC World Cup recently. Being part of such a glorious sporting event is what dreams are made of, but leaving behind tearful loved ones, stacks of boerewors and litres of maroela beer can result in a debilitating traumatic disorder.

Guluva was, however, relieved to hear that our cricketers have formed a "social committee" down there charged with the responsibility of organising off-the-field activities that will keep them busy and put their minds off things when they are not scoring runs or taking out wickets.

"Sometimes when you tour, you don't get to see much around you, so if we are around for a few days, it's nice to explore the city a little," committee head Morne Morkel reportedly told The Star's chief sports writer, Kevin McCallum.

Guluva is not too sure as to what Morkel's idea of fun is, or what he means by "exploring the city a little", but he might have to consider taking a leaf from Herschelle Gibbs' book, both literally and figuratively.

With Gibbs around, those very close to him will always tell you, time flies.

You only have to read his biography, To The Point, to see what Guluva means.

In the book, the inimitable Gibbs talks about, among a host of other things, a "two-beds, two-cricketers and three-women" riddle; beer drinking binges and marijuana smoking sessions in between Tests in which he performed superbly well.

"I have had a huge amount of fun in my cricket career," he says with no trace of regret.

Cricket South Africa might have parted ways with him, but he is only a tweet or cellphone call away from his former buddies.

Take a hike, Mister

In the midst of the highway robbery that the SA National Roads Agency tried to stage in Gauteng, Guluva was severely traumatised when Transport Minister Sbu Ndebele told him to get his jalopy off the freeway and take a taxi if he could not afford to pop out 66 cents a kilometre travelled.

It was a hurtful comment that reminded Guluva of Marie Antoinette's thoughtless "let-them-eat-cake" remark when all what the poor French people wanted was bread.

Guluva is glad that the minister is having a rethink on the tolling system, although this does not mean he and other motorists are not going to be charged for using the freeways in Gauteng after June.

But the next time the minister orders Guluva to take a taxi, he will tell him to take a hike.

Kitchen party

Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's women's league resurfaced after a long time this week to make the usual noises about women being discriminated against even though they make up 55percent of Mzansi's population.

Instead of moaning and whingeing, Angie Motshekga and her crowd should be bold enough to tell the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet hierarchy that as the party prepares to celebrate its centenary next year, so must the membership brace itself to be led by a woman.

That would settle it once and for all. Otherwise, Guluva and his pals will find it difficult not to confuse the women's league with a kitchen party.

Email Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmaill.com.