JOBS, jobs and more jobs! This has become Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's latest favourite mantra as the clutches of poverty appear unrelenting on the poor and local government elections loom large on the horizon.

Many economic commentators and political analysts have expressed doubts about the government's ability to create a whopping 5million jobs in 10 years.

But the government, led by the Machine Gun Man, remains unfazed by the criticisms. It has even come up with a breakdown of how the various economic sectors will create the required number of jobs - decent or otherwise.

This jobs drive, we are assured, has nothing to do with the coming local government elections, but has been born out of a genuine desire by Ain't Seen Nothing Yet to extricate the masses of our people from the yoke of poverty.

So urgent is the need to create these jobs that the Machine Gun Man has barred debate on the New Economic Growth Path, the key driver of the initiative, saying the plan will be fine-tuned as we go along.

Judging by their silence the forever positive masses of our people have given Ain't Seen Nothing Yet the benefit of the doubt in this regard.

But you will realise that by the time this ambitious initiative comes up for a final review it will be 2020 or thereabouts.

By that time the New Economic Growth Path will most probably have become the Old Economic Growth Path and been dumped on the scrapheap of economic policies - the same way the Growth, Employment and Redistribution plan was ditched.

The Machine Gun Man, the prime jobs driver, will also have exited the scene two years earlier and retired to his plush Nkandla home in KwaZulu-Natal just after completing his second term as Mzansi president.

A new crowd will have hit town, clutching an economic policy of their own. But the masses of our people will still be where they were 10 years earlier.

Reluctant beneficiary

Still on the issue of jobs, several weeks ago Guluva wanted to do his bit for the country but found out later that the colour of his skin was a little bit problematic for the prospective beneficiary.

It all started when an independent landscaping and garden services expert - the politically correct term for gardener - who regularly provides these services at Guluva's home, extended his summer holiday without authorisation, agreement or warning.

With the grass in his garden outgrowing the trees after the recent rains, Guluva decided to employ - empower is the politically acceptable word - another independent landscaping and garden services expert on a short-term contract until the incumbent returned.

He approached the fellow who provides his services on the property next door on a weekly basis with a humble plea to come to his aid.

The black brother, after apparently checking his diary, agreed to Guluva's proposed terms and promised to come to work the next Saturday - but never did.

He has been avoiding eye contact with Guluva ever since.

Other independent landscaping and garden services experts who ply their trade in the hood have since told Guluva that the brother has sworn to them that he would rather die of hunger than be seen leaving a black township to go to work for a black dude in the suburbs.

Guluva had all along thought that the colour of money was the same.

E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com.