BASIC Education Minister Angie Motshekga stood in front of thousands of Aint' Seen Nothing Yet supporters at Peter Mokaba Stadium in Polokwane on Saturday and, with a straight face, offered to teach certain people she did not name basic numeracy and literacy for free.

About mathematics, she told the cheering crowd: "What you do on the right you must also do on the left."

Yeah, right! But this is rich coming from someone who cannot correctly execute a simple arithmetic calculation.

Last Thursday Motshekga stood in front of TV cameras and told the nation that the 2010 matric results had improved by a "whopping 7,2percent".

But if Motshekga had bothered to do her homework, and done her calculations correctly, she would have found out that last year's matric pass of 67,8percent was, in fact, an 11,6percent improvement on the previous year's 60,6percent pass.

To clarify, last year's matric results indeed showed a 7,2percentage point increase compared with the previous year's achievements. But that is not the same as a 7,2percent increase.

By her miscalculation, Motshekga did not only short-change herself, she also misled the nation.

Let's hear her dispute that!

Now, if the people mandated to deliver basic education cannot do a simple arithmetic calculation, how basic should our education really become?

Oh, by the way, Motshekga described the "7,2percent" improvement - according to her own calculation - as "whopping".

Matrics with class

Is there still a case for township and rural teachers who take their children out of the public schools where they work and send them to former model C institutions in previously white suburbs, while they themselves can produce jewels in their own backyards?

Guluva asked himself this question after scores of matric pupils in these disadvantaged, under-resourced and ill-equipped schools produced impressive results last year, outclassing even those of pupils who "got better education".

One of those whose academic performance called into question his own teachers' wisdom to send their children to so-called upmarket schools is Vusani Tutu of Vuwani Secondary School in Tshiawelo, Soweto, who achieved five distinctions.

"I am a rose growing from concrete," he said after receiving his results. "Life hasn't been easy for me and my family, but I found favour in God's eyes. I'd go to school at night, walk back home in the dark. It would just be me, my Bible and my books.

"I dream of being the next Mark Shuttleworth and I'll go for that dream at Wits (University), where I will study aeronautical engineering."

Guluva reckons some teachers at this school can't believe they actually taught this kid.

Dying club, dying fan

The situation at Moroka Swallows, one of Mzansi's oldest football clubs, does not inspire confidence. Unless something drastic happens, the club - which has managed to muster only five points out of a possible 39 - faces extinction.

Guluva could not help but feel sorry for a passionate fan who, after being presented with Vodacom's Push i-Passion award for being the "appropriately" dressed supporter during the club's match against Free State Stars on Saturday night, told a TV interviewer: "I'm a dying fan of Moroka Swallows."

It might, of course, have been a Freudian slip; but if a club is dying, what's there for a die-hard fan to live for?

E-mail Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com