IN WHAT might put South Africa's Unrepentant Super Cowboy, the irrepressible police commissioner General Bheki Cele, on a collision course with his Department of Water and Environmental Affairs counterpart, director-general Nosipho Ngcaba, the general's "men in blue" displayed a flagrant disregard for the environment along the N1 freeway between the Nyl and Carousel toll plazas in Limpopo the other day.
Guluva had stopped his jalopy on the side of the freeway to change a tyre when all of a sudden a South African Police Service-marked minibus pulled over a few metres in front of him.
Intensity of torrent
Between 12 and 15 men spilled out, stormed a nearby shrub, whipped out their you-know-what from deep under their pants and, almost in unison, drowned the poor vegetation under a deluge of foul-smelling bodily fluid with no care in the world and in full view of bemused passing motorists.
The intensity of the torrent was so great that Guluva is still wondering if the poor shrub saw the light of the next day.
We all know that our "men and women in blue" have been given shoot-to-kill powers, but does that mean they can also set their gun sights on the environment?
Dressed to kill
Guluva noticed that the great general was dressed to kill in a shiny, navy blue, out-of-this-world suit when he went for an interview on the Justice Factor, a current affairs show on the e-news channel, the other day.
Fielding a barrage of questions from host Justice Malala, the Unrepentant Super Cowboy revealed a side that most South Africans did not know.
This was a shy, blushing fellow who would not even hurt a fly, let alone kill a hardened criminal.
Uncharacteristically, the general lost his train of thought as he was trying to throw in an English expression to spice up his argument.
He unfortunately ended up not knowing whether to say "putting your money where your mouth is", or "putting your mouth where your money is", blushingly confessing to Malala that he did not "speak much English".
Guluva won't begrudge him for that because the rascal himself also does not "speak much English".
But knowing the general as we do, both expressions apply - he does put his mouth where his money is sometimes.
If he is not doing that, he puts his foot in it. His mouth, that is.
Bags of cash
That is why, when he was asked in Parliament the other day to explain why he was carrying R20000 in cash in a bag that was stolen on an SAA flight, he said:
"How much do I earn? I can afford to have that amount of money with me with the salary I earn."
The last time someone said something like that he was sent packing.
Today the former Gauteng MEC for health is languishing in the backbenches of the Gauteng legislature after boasting that he could afford to buy a R7,2million mansion because he earned 10 times more from his businesses than the salary he received as an MEC. E-mail Guluva on
thatha.guluva@gmail.com.
Super Cowboy shoots his mouth off
IN WHAT might put South Africa's Unrepentant Super Cowboy, the irrepressible police commissioner General Bheki Cele, on a collision course with his Department of Water and Environmental Affairs counterpart, director-general Nosipho Ngcaba, the general's "men in blue" displayed a flagrant disregard for the environment along the N1 freeway between the Nyl and Carousel toll plazas in Limpopo the other day.
Guluva had stopped his jalopy on the side of the freeway to change a tyre when all of a sudden a South African Police Service-marked minibus pulled over a few metres in front of him.
Intensity of torrent
Between 12 and 15 men spilled out, stormed a nearby shrub, whipped out their you-know-what from deep under their pants and, almost in unison, drowned the poor vegetation under a deluge of foul-smelling bodily fluid with no care in the world and in full view of bemused passing motorists.
The intensity of the torrent was so great that Guluva is still wondering if the poor shrub saw the light of the next day.
We all know that our "men and women in blue" have been given shoot-to-kill powers, but does that mean they can also set their gun sights on the environment?
Dressed to kill
Guluva noticed that the great general was dressed to kill in a shiny, navy blue, out-of-this-world suit when he went for an interview on the Justice Factor, a current affairs show on the e-news channel, the other day.
Fielding a barrage of questions from host Justice Malala, the Unrepentant Super Cowboy revealed a side that most South Africans did not know.
This was a shy, blushing fellow who would not even hurt a fly, let alone kill a hardened criminal.
Uncharacteristically, the general lost his train of thought as he was trying to throw in an English expression to spice up his argument.
He unfortunately ended up not knowing whether to say "putting your money where your mouth is", or "putting your mouth where your money is", blushingly confessing to Malala that he did not "speak much English".
Guluva won't begrudge him for that because the rascal himself also does not "speak much English".
But knowing the general as we do, both expressions apply - he does put his mouth where his money is sometimes.
If he is not doing that, he puts his foot in it. His mouth, that is.
Bags of cash
That is why, when he was asked in Parliament the other day to explain why he was carrying R20000 in cash in a bag that was stolen on an SAA flight, he said:
"How much do I earn? I can afford to have that amount of money with me with the salary I earn."
The last time someone said something like that he was sent packing.
Today the former Gauteng MEC for health is languishing in the backbenches of the Gauteng legislature after boasting that he could afford to buy a R7,2million mansion because he earned 10 times more from his businesses than the salary he received as an MEC. E-mail Guluva on
thatha.guluva@gmail.com.
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